Carolines Mutuko tribute to Her late sister

I’ll be
I’ll be
sister’s passing has changed
me, made me keenly aware of
certain things that I only ever
saw out of the corner of my
eye. Above all, it has set me
hundred paces forward on a
journey I embarked on last
year that I am thrilled to take
to it’s ultimate conclusion –
living in full colour.
Regina in her own special way
has just re-ignited a spark in
my belly into a roaring flame.
So should you come across me
in the coming days, weeks and
months and feel that I’m in
full throttle, don’t be alarmed,
don’t be surprised and above
all don’t be worried. Anyone
who knew my sister, worked
with her, prayed with her,
worked-out with her, knows
there was a no-nonsense,
pragmatic way to how she
approached life.
My younger sister has once
again given me a wonderful
nudge forward and taught me
a few lessons that I wish to
share with you.
Here’s what I now know for

  1. Today is all we’ve got, take
    it, grab, embrace it and live it
    well. As well as you know how.
    In your own way. Marching to
    the beat of your own drum is
    never a bad thing. She and I
    said it to each other, to others
    and today and now more than
    ever, I re-emphasize it. Live
    your life, run your race and
    make the decisions that make
    sense for you.
  2. Regina had little patience
    of hand wringing and empty
    talk. She was action oriented.
    The tributes she received said
    it all. Get on with it – what
    are you waiting for? Your life
    is not between the moments
    of your birth and death. Your
    life is between now and your
    next breath. The present –
    the here and now – is all the
    life you ever get. So live each
    moment in full, in kindness
    and peace, without fear or
  3. The truth about people is
    spoken by their actions.
    You’re going to come across
    people in your life who will
    say all the right words at all
    the right times; but in the
    end, it’s always their actions
    you should judge them by. So
    pay attention to what people
    do. Their actions will tell you
    everything you need to know.
  4. Love those who love you
    fiercely. Embrace them, kiss
    them, care for them, let them
    know they matter. We miss
    Regina, but none of us is in
    doubt about how she felt
    about us and we know she
    had no doubt about how we
    felt about her.
  5. Tell those who matter, what
    matters to you, that way they
    are never in doubt about what
    to do or how to carry on in
    your absence. Regina was
    clear from the moment she
    had her son that she was
    raising a man and she told us
    as much – often. From her
    friends to her pastor to the
    teachers at my nephew’s
    school – we are all clear and
    united in what we know we
    must do when it comes to
    Richard to honour his mother.
  6. Everyone deserves to love
    and be loved in return. Don’t
    settle for less. Regina was
    complete and clear about how
    she felt about those she chose
    to call friends. She loved
    them and they loved her and
    it was clear for all who knew.
    No grey areas.
  7. Do the job you have with
    excellence and zeal. Regina
    never settled for half
    measures. Some of her
    decisions may have made her
    unpopular with some and
    even made some people
    uneasy. But because she was
    clear what the ultimate goal
    was, Regina never relented on
    striving for flawless excellence
    and execution in anything she
    sort to do.
  8. True, honest, strong
    friendships are a blessing and
    a choice we get to make.
    Choose wisely. Regina never
    had anyone in her circles she
    didn’t resonate with. Don’t
    short-change yourself or
    anyone in your life by giving
    less than your best or
    demanding they give you the
    best of them. Once you find
    these friendships – treasure
    them with all the love you can
  9. Surround yourself with the
    things that make you happy.
    That are beautiful in your
    eyes. The flowers in her
    house, the burst of yellow in
    every room, the order of
    things and doing things was
    her way. If it was beautiful
    and made her smile, she
    treasured it and celebrated it
    – didn’t matter if you thought
    it was silly.
  10. Happiness is when you
    feel good about yourself
    without feeling the need for
    anyone else’s approval. You
    are your most important
    relationship. – You must first
    have a healthy relationship
    with yourself before you can
    have a healthy relationship
    with others. Regina made it a
    point to ensure that she was
    good to herself, her mind and
    her spirit, before embarking
    on anything with anyone else.
    After all, you cannot give what
    you do not have.
    Here’s the real deal – A
    lifetime isn’t very
    long. Realise that right now
    you’re lucky because you still
    have a chance. So stop for a
    moment and think. Whatever
    you still need to do, start
    doing it today. There are only
    so many tomorrows.
    Through Regina I am now
    truly aware that my time is
    limited and the life I have is
    a gift. It is time to use this
    gift well, starting now. Rest In
    Peace Reggie and thank you.