DEAR :
I have been married for 26 years.
Five years ago, my husband gave a young lady some money through credit card charges over a six-month period.
We are not wealthy. When I found the charges in our credit report, he took a second job to pay it off.
I don’t think their relationship was sexual because he is impotent. It was hurtful.
While he was taking this young lady shopping, he told me he was at work.
Recently, I (accidentally) caught him going to another young lady’s apartment to help her with things like hanging a TV.
I don’t care if he helps people. What I DO care about is his sneaking around to do it.
I have tried talking to him about why he feels he needs to sneak.
He has no answer. What makes men sneak?
– DECEIVED
DEAR:
My boyfriend, my 33-year-old son, his girlfriend and their 4-year-old son all live with me.
They are expecting their second child. I own the home and pay all the bills (utilities, phone, food, etc.).
The problem is, my kids don’t like my boyfriend.
His grandkids call me Grandma, so I would like my grandkids to call him Grandpa.
My son and his girlfriend won’t allow their son to do it.
They insist on calling him by his first name.
I asked for a compromise and to call him Uncle.
They refuse and say he didn’t earn that name.
I said it’s just teaching the children to respect their elders.
When I grew up and when I raised my son, we called older people Aunty and Uncle.
I’m not sure what to do because we all live in the same house, and I would like all of us to get along.
– WISHING FOR RESPECT
DEAR :
Our son is getting married.
He told his dad the other day that his fiancee would like for my husband to go with my son to his salon
to get his hair cut and beard trimmed for the wedding.
My husband is upset about it because he feels his soon-to-be daughter-in-law is implying that his haircut isn’t good enough.
As the wife and future mother-in-law, I’m unsure how to handle this situation. Help, please.
– GROOMING GROOM’S DAD
DEAR:
My husband and I have been married 22 years.
They have been a rough 22 years, and I’m no longer in love with him.
I will not be looking for another husband should we get divorced.
We tried counseling which was hard emotionally as we learned a new way of communicating.
However, after the weekend, I would always initiate the skills we learned, but he would not.
He’s retired. I’m still working, yet nothing is getting done around the house.
I’m tired of feeling stressed. I don’t like cleaning up after him and our daughters, and I’m thinking of moving out.
I feel overwhelmed and want to live by myself for a period of time, but something is stopping me from signing a lease.
Our daughters are in college, and my door will be open to them anytime.
Should I move out?
– ON THE VERGE