Away Match Incognito ..

Sooo. YES. I’m a bad boy and I don’t care to justify why. I don’t like boring and Thrill gets my juices flowing.

I look very innocent at first glance and that has made me score so many times and “hit it” before the poor target gets to know what is happening. It’s only my mboch that I have had to restrain since I know the consequences (which does not prevent me from salivating!!) If there is no drama in my life I go looking out for it lest my life bores me. I keeps the blood running.

Well, this weekend my escapades saw me go hunting at Natives, along Thika Road. There’s usually campus Puthy hanging out here and many are times we score and get lucky and also meet our MWKs. So me and my boy check in to Natives and he spots some USIU chics he knows seated at a ka corner in the club. We walk over and join the crowd of three and decide to officially hang out with them. SO there is this beauty amongst the crowd who is soo sexy and talkative. Me thinks she was horny or something but she jazzed me with her flirty subtle moves. I immediately engage my fisi mode gear and swear to “eat” her that evening.

Kiswahili, flirts etc and she finally ingias box. Fast forward to elven o’clock, me and my friend have chips fungad and since I cant go to my (place family and all) we turn my boys bachelor pad into a sex house. I’m in this room making my woman scream and he’s in the other making his bite pillows. So we do this till three am and now I have to go home. I can’t sleep out till morning coz I will arouse suspicions with the MRs. And I don’t need to tell you the repercussions. Unfortunately, I’m all sober from all the activities of the night and also the fact that we did not drink a lot at Natives.

So how I’m I going home sober at 3.00am? Impossible… Biiiiig Red flad for the MRs. So what to do?

I get a hold of my boys bottle of JD from the fridge and take shots of it DRY. I take gulps and gulps so that I can get high quickly because I was heading home (Don’t mind about my Take away, we had talked and she knew it was just that and infact she assisted me in making myself look all raved up and beat and was giving me the psyke to gulp the alcohol)

So I get a cab and zoom off to home which is not that far from my boys… Maybe a KM or so. Waaaaat…. Kumbe ile pombe sio kidogo na sio maji. I can feel myself fast getting drunk as I approach home and I can smell a blackout. Na hii yote ni in a span of 15 mins or so tangu kuakunywa, kutoka na kuanza kuskia kubleki.

By the time I get to the estate gate, Im an bordering total blackout. By the time we get to the apartment gate, Im out. Solja and the cab guy carry me to the door and I compose myself and walk to bed where again I blackout till Sunday 1.00pm. So on Sunday the Mrs. Is like; Eh Jana inakaa mulijienjoy kabisa. Ulkuwa umelewa!! N im like eeeh tulikutana na maboy wengine hatujaonana nao for a while.Was fun. ANGEJUA (Lol)



Usiu huvaa uniform?

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haha…dont know why i am laughing

The day your liver falls into your stomach ndio uta wacha mambo ya ‘dry’

Great story Funda!

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Tortilas is also a fertile hunting ground for USIU fungas,hope you poured some alcohol on your trao around the nether regions, it drowns the smell of sex #fisi tip


Faith in humanity restored, achana na mboch.

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True, usiwahi enda home when sober when you just had an away match. Also, avoid kuoga.

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You should be on PEP therapy as we speak. That ‘conquest’ can turn into your worst nightmare in a matter of weeks.

Sound too good to be true, still whistling while passing by though

hehehe…nice hekaya…sasa wewe you are lucky uliweza enda home na a convincing alibi…Mimi nimewahi chips funga nikiwa mlevi nikaenda kwa a bachelor’s crib kukulia chipo huko. After eating two rounds, i dozed off…the fatigue ya kukula na pombe saw me wake up at 10am in the morning…na bibi yuko nyumbani anangoja mimi akiwa worried, suspicious, annoyed and fuming


Relax…some of us know the word safe sex…
Wewe kwama na mboga kila siku ukifikiri ati nyama itakugonjesha. Havent you seen hoes who have slept with over 1000 men still clean or which world are you in? Safety bana…wacha alarmist tendencies

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:eek:Uuuiiii usiwahi kubali. Never sleep out. Kula mapema alafu lewa. hehe :smiley:

What is too good? Pass on supermart thiever.

Sure did… N blew some ciggarettes on my shirt so she doesnt come smelling

I used to think like you till I realized it’s an exercise in futility. The hunt for new pussy is like a stone rolling downhill, the more you get the more you want. It reached a point I decided enough is enough. Keep your safe sex lectures to yourself.

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Funda should be elected as king of team mafisi…mmm wait, he already won unopposed

as you were sleeping in that kitanda im sure the mrs sniffed your transformer…for sure she knows that cum that is matted in the pubes isnt hers!!!

@PepoPunda are you the same nigga who fungad at tribeka lounge? Hats off