TLDR; My parents want me to inform on my sibling. They suspect he dropped or was kicked out of college and now want me to go find out if that’s the case. Where would that put me?
Good morning elders. Thank you for making your way into this urgent sitting.
My name is Ejlif, son of Thomas of the Stockman clan. I’m in a dilemma and I could use your advice.
My blood brother, Morten, is a few years younger than me and is supposed to be finishing his degree right now in a local University. We’re not very close so we don’t talk much and our conversations are very casual, brief and rare. Therefore, we never talk about what we’ve been into, thinking or planning - I didn’t know siblings can be that distant. Anyway here’s the gist. My parents suspect that the guy dropped out of college an year or two ago without their (and my) knowledge and they now want me to go the the University’s offices to ascertain that he’s attending classes and isn’t suspended, expelled or has deferred studies.
I have to say that growing up, he was in a way the favorite son - jovial, outgoing, sociable and a lot of other things I wasn’t. But he was reckless, irresponsible at times and quite hard-headed. (He imbibes booze and might turn into a sod soon. He keeps the company of hoodrats and losers, does weed, and fucks bimbos - yeah, I’ve gathered that much). I finished school without much fuss myself and immediately began surviving on my own… I digress.
Swali nyeti ni hili. Would it be wise to do what they’re asking me to? Just walk into the offices, find out he’s no longer a student, that he’s been lying and ‘eating’ fees (yet fukara is synonymous with my family’s name), inform them accordingly and ruin my relationship with him for good? Or should I let my mother do it so she can go make a scene at the office, before having a heart attack and fainting?
For now, please ignore the family dynamics and advise on what you think should be my next logical move. Ahsanteni sana for giving me audience. Bows out.
Clearly,you are not the favourite son. He’s assumed the golden goose status na wazazi hawataki kumkasirisha so,you get to be thrown under the bus if at all you find out he’s been kicked out or dropped and he fumes for being busted. I bet your dad pays the fees,no doubt he’ll pay again just to ensure the boy finishes his education,gets a job and takes care when parents get old. Where does that leave you? Dont put that burden on yourselefu. Let the parents or maybe an uncle do it,you dont want to build a lasting animosity with your bro. Im guessing he’s a middle child the least you can do now is to wait until kanuke then lend them an ear usikie shida iko wapi then start from there to rebuild the brother hood. It was similar with my small bro in our twenties,long story,now we’re inseparable
Just confront your bro …ask him what’s up ki mwanaume. Going behind is back will just fuk up ur situation with him even more. Technically … what he does as a grown up is non ur business. Lakini nauliza aje … u mean you can walk up to university adminstration offices and get info just like that on a student. See where I studied in an Ivy league school … there is absolutely no way you could get students information released to you … hata huwe mzazi … sijui I pay the fee bullshit. Anyway … is aight.
Just call him or have a face to face meeting with your bro and tell him the parents suspect him of having dropped his studies. Give him option of saying the truth to the parents or the parents finding the truth by their own means.
Let him choose his poison or weapon.
Naogopa kuruin our casual and somewhat strained relationship but hey, if I have to and there’s absolutely no other option, I’ll confront him. It’s my absolute last resort since I don’t have the patience nor the grace to talk sense into vichwa maji who can create ugly scenes when triggered.
I’d advice you to just contact the school directly to verify; that will guide the kind of conversation you’ll have with him. If he’s still in school, cheer him up and congratulate him for keeping up. Otherwise, just tell him straight up that he’s messing up his own future and stressing up your parents unnecessarily. If he gets upset, that’s up to him, but at least he’ll know that he’s being watched.
On the positive side, he might realize that you care about him- it’s possible that your relationship is strained (for lack of a better word) because he probably thinks that no one loves him or cares about him.
Call the school to find out. Trying to ‘protect’ him might cause more problems down the line. Eventually the truth will come out, but I’d rather your parents know now so that they can figure out what to do with their money (I’m assuming that they’re supporting him financially).