a warning to all the un-married and ones considering doing it

[B][I]The importance of sharing common visions and ambitions:

While a majority of relationships break down due to the traditional and more common reasons of poor communication,infidelity,inlaws etc.,i believe that my marriage broke down due to the differences i had with my now separated wife over a new business that i started.
I will not pretend that everything else was post card-picture perfect but after a long look and after a month of separation,i believe that the conflict between my ambitions and aspirations and hers surely broke the proverbial camel`s back.
Now,i love nyap just as much as as the next man and like many a red blooded male,there are two things i find impossible to say no to:nyap and money.
I regret putting my estranged wife through the misery of my cheating,but she seemed to take it all in stride like a good forgiving wife should.For all the rows we had over money,my heavy drinking and all other ills that befall a married man,she forgave me or rather we seemed to come through them stronger and more united.
But came the time that i decided that i had had enough of being employed and that i was starting my own business in the long distance transport industry:that was the beginning of the end for us if you ask my opinion! Logistics is what i know.Its all i do best and driving is a passion for me.
Looking back now i can clearly see that she never once supported me in my passion and in my career.I ignored her half hearted support and enthuthiasim when my job was the topic.
Could she have been insecure about me being away all day or even for days on end when the job required it? I thought i had found the solution to our money worries but on many occasions i remember her saying that we were happier when we didnt have enough! (“typical woman”,i thought) but looking back now she obviously meant it.[/I][/B]

Ktalkers,dont say that you were not warned. Marriage is more than just loving,trusting and respecting each other:its also about sharing and being agreeable when it comes to what your ambitions,aspirations and goals in life and in the future are.
Sasa niko solo in my keja peke yangu and missing the comfort you get from the love of your wife and kids…oh and i hate cooking and doing the dishes not to mention going shopping…NKT!![ATTACH=full]1438[/ATTACH]


Life is full of shiet anyway. Money is the only loyal friend…Have you ever had an argument with your money? Ati “We pesa zangu saa ingine unakuwanga na madharau. Nikwambia uninunulie chupa tatu na nyamchom unakataa.” Money does what you want at the time you want without question. You are better off investing in money than in a fellow human, for humans are sorry beings. Siku ngapi umelala umekasirika juu ati pesa yako imekuudhi? But I agree humans are social beings, and you have to put up with a b*tch at some point. Only dont invest too much in her, or take her too seriously as you should your money.


Ati “We pesa zangu
saa ingine unakuwanga na madharau. Nikwambia uninunulie
chupa tatu na nyamchom unakataa.”


thankyou so much , it’s good to know that someone shares in my wisdom. Women don’t know what they want so I think i should concentrate on making a better future for my offspring…

Kabuda. Story tumeskia miaka mingi leta ya Leo.kwani huko majuu hamna mlolongo ya truckers?

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What happens when women do the same?

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I’m a woman and I know what i want… It’s only the women you associate with who don’t know what they want meaning you can’t make the right choices so stop crucifying all the women…

They always do. Women dont give a fuck about men. They are all about themselves and things around them, and men are just an accesories.

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Women know what they want, but they do not know and dont want to know what anybody else wants.

Let’s start from here…When you say women do you mean all women?

I’ve seen men who don’t give an eff about women too… That doesn’t give me a reason to go around trashing all men… Judge everyone for who they are individually but not as a crowd . If you have only met women who are like that it doesn’t mean that they represent all the women folk it means it’s about time you change hunting tactics.

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That’s called selfishness and it has got nothing to do with gender… Anyone can be selfish.

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Women don’t know what they want, they have to be directed, that is what i came to conclude.To quote a famous hit by the one and only prince adio

Nikiwa ndani, wapiga kelele
Nikitoka nje, unanung’unika
Kisha wasema, mimi sikupendi
Na ukipendwa haupendeki

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Vile @Unicorn amesema

And the question that comes to mind is, could the lack of personal space be a contributing factor to the many public and private divorces we are witnessing in our society? Is it natural for a man and a woman to occupy a common micro-space for extended durations or have we been trying to impose an alien model to the human species.

My inquiry has been prompted by a number of observations. For example, it is evident that many couples are technically separated by still live together because of outside forces such as fear for society ridicule, children’s wellbeing, and religious pressure. Often, such couples will engage in all sorts of defiant deeds (such as infidelity) to vent frustrations. Another important observation I have made is that many of the men who spend hours in bars are actually refugees trying to stay away from their homes as long as is possible. I once used to wonder why some men go into panic mode whenever the car develops problems but I later came to deduce that for such men, the car is their only personal space and their only means to some form of freedom.

And that leads me to my final question, what was the marriage set-up like in the traditional African society and how would the divorce rates compare with today? In the traditional society, as far as my knowledge goes, the man of the homestead occupied a separate room from that of the wife and the kids. It is possible that this arrangement prevented the many minor conflicts that arise when two individuals occupy a common micro-space, and which often escalate to gigantic proportions, sometimes leading to divorce. Maybe this model is more natural to human beings compared to the present situation in which a couple will share the same small space for months and years.


@Bus I agree, this idea of individuals occupying a micro-space causes a lot of friction…

Thats quite true but try telling it to a woman

Marriage like any other relationship involves gives and takes as you take something( physical, emotional or spiritual)from your partner you also have to give and in that process sometimes compromising for the sake of the common Good becomes the norm.

Men mostly perform poorly simply because of their egos u want a faithful wife while you have side dishes as your go and other things that you do.
Marriage works if the two partners involved wants it to work and the man as always should take the lead.

Your ideals are sound and reasonable, and everybody should practice this.But believe me, living up to such ideals is very difficult.Men are inherently inclined to go against such.

No they are not,it something that we learn as we grow up by observing our fathers and any male close to us.
So we can always decide to learn something new and replace the old that is treat our partner right in our marriages.

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You can always work on yourself and i agree that you can make yourself a better person, but what about your partner, can you really mould someone according to your ideals? it’s quite difficult.