Villagers I have a friend who broke up with his wife over unresolved issues. They used to get drunk, fight, cause scenes etc basically they were both drunkards. It reached a point the friend decided to cut back on his drinking and the wife could not stop she carried on. So consequently, they broke up since the relationship became untenable. Due to her drinking habits, he managed to talk her into leaving the boy with him with the promise that she will be taking him over the weekends. This was a trick since he knew she would eventually become so overwhelmed with her drinking that she would not keep up or would prefer not to be picking up the boy. He was also not too comfotable with the idea of his son being moved to different houses or moving in with different men as “uncles” or step fathers since the EX had told him point blank that akitoka kwa hiyo nyumba she will move in as quickly as possible with the next guy she finds before finding her feet. These were not empty threats since she even started talking with her EXes. This became true she would get drunk on weekends and when he calls her she is unreachable or out of town or maybe amepelekwa kwingine. He decided to stop trying and just cut her off. He even secretly wishes that she gets paged by her many men so that she does not start bringing complications to him and his son.
Now to the issue at hand. This friend has been dating been around the block. His son is five years old. He is looking for someone to settle down with so that the son can have a mother figure. He has two single mothers in sight. One has a seven-year-old son and is a year older than my friend. The other one has a three year old daughter and is six years younger than my friend. They are both business ladies, do not drink and from Makueni and Kitui counties respectively. Of the two , only one has baby daddy issues the one with the seven-year-old son. The other one has no such issues. He has slept with both of them and is thinking of moving in with one of them for something serious. Which one is best suited kwa hii maneno.
I have tried to advise him not to take any of them but he says since he has a son the Nairobi slay queen with no child cannot cut it and may not know how to look after him. He has purposely hunted down single mothers to have a blended family with.
Neither is suitable. He should not look to marry a woman with children. Ngori. That boy is still at a very tender age. Hata afadhali atafute mjakazi mama mzee amlelee mtoto.
mwambie asongeshe mileage ya wote kiasi mwenye engine itaitisha service mapema amwache … but I doubt kama ako na energy ya kugurumisha wakamba wawili unless ametoka mulembe …
That man has only two options if his mother is still alive take the child to her mother to take care of him if not let her look for an old nanny or a nanny with reputable character an old enough to take care of that kid.
The reason why he is not able to make a sound decision is because he has already slept with both of them.
Advise to him - let him remain single until he gets a single lady and start afresh.
Already he is a single father, then add single mother to the equation and top up with his ex baby mother plus the other lady’s baby daddy, hata kama ako na shock absorber za monroe, stress itamchapa atatii.