Hii inakuwaga dilema noma sana. On one side you have to be hospitable to rural folk coz they are family on the other hand maisha ya jiji ni expe kuhost and feed extra mouths especially number ikienda more than 3 mouths for weeks on end.
I was once invaded last year by 2 relatives and a neighbor eti wamekuja Driving School. Hapo nilitii masharti, ended up denting my pocket book by Ksh 60,000.
Unaamka unawapata kwa sitting room wamesha washa TV they are waiting for tea, bread and butter.
Kitambo, it could be argued that Black Tax was inevitable and unavoidable for Africans. However, the culture is changing.
Pressures of modern life e.g. cost of living, long working hours, working & living far away from relatives and interacting with them way less often have meant a significant breakdown of the general extended family. For most Kenyans, this has fortunately meant less likelihood of being trapped into Black Tax situations.
As is aptly being illustrated by Sledge here, Kenyans are also becoming more individualistic i.e. kila mtu nowadays anafocus na mashida zake or at most those of the immediate nuclear family.
Sadly, if you still struggle with Black Tax issues, it could mean that you are a bonobo (i.e. you just can’t see just how draining the demands are to you) or you are spineless (you can’t grow some balls and finally stand up to your pesky relatives). Maybe you fear being ostracized or you believe in those silly curses, part of the umeffi that keeps Black Tax thriving…
Matthew 25:35-40
35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’
37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’
Luke 6:38. Give and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
Shida yetu Africans is that we are too hospitable and that was one of the mistakes that our forefathers did when welcoming the White devils. We have the Ubuntu spirit in us while westerners lost it centuries ago due to harsh winters. Wakajua kujiwekea scarse resources for the winter. Wood, meats, fish only for immediate family etc.
Lack of Winter ndio kitu ilifanya Subsahara ibaki nyuma.
Mzito @magreb had captured it so well that he would rather imbibe rare whiskies than be caught going for a mile for the sake of ungrateful bonobo relatives…Of course,he learned this nugget of wisdom akiwa juu ya mawe and no one could come through for him.
I made it clear early enough kwamba staki kusumbuliwa nikiwa na nuclear family. Kama ni msaada ninawapea in terms of paying fees, transport na kadhalika. Kukanyaga nyumba zangu unless nimewaita security ya area. Currently kuna hadi aunties na tutoto wamejipa kibarua kwa my newly acquired farm in Endebess but they know chochote chaweza kutokea wakati wowote since there have been incidences za wizi
Elders wacheni maringo. Mmefika kanairo kiburi imewaingia. Me i usually hold an annual event inaweza kuwa ka birthday ka one of my kids where i invite most of my close relatives. We eat drink and have a good time then kila mtu anaenda zake. The only onces who spend a night or two ni wale wa safari refu…usually aunty ya cucu ya guka wangu