Back in 2012 I was working in Eldoret., i got romantically involved with a lady who was a banker in the same town. I at first didn’t know she had a kid from a previous relationship when she was in campus. She told me after like 1 month but the kid lived with his grandma at shags in Muranga. Things progressed fast and before long she moved into my house. All that in a span of 7 months. I got to know most of her friends, colleagues, a random cousin here and there and she got to know mine too. Into the ninth month we started arranging how i was going to introduce her to my folks cz there was a family function coming up. And we did go. Soon enough i went to her folks place. Note that i had never met her son face to face not even once till that moment, i had only seen pics.
The lady was good, she loved life, outgoing, a clean freak and a good lay. That is until her mother told her to go pick up her son since now she had a home and a prospective husband. Everything changed. The house became unbearable after that. She became manipulative, controlling and a nag. The kid was undisciplined and spoilt. I couldn’t even correct the boy leave alone discipline the rascal. The kid would demand food, eat half of it and demand another type, throw a tantrum. The mother started showing up at my place of work unannounced, she would insist on us going home together in the evening as in i had no me time with my buddies. She was so insecure she even started going through my phones, questioning all my female friends.
The straw that broke the camel’s back was when she and her mother insisted that i kick-start dowry arrangements because her younger sister’s husband was ready to pay dowry. Kwa mila ya greeks a younger sister’s dowry can’t be received before the elder ones.
All in all single mothers come with a lot of baggage and more so if they have sons. I think its hard for a man to bring up another man’s son. Moreso if the said son has teeth, lots of teeth.
Wahh!!
Personally, i dont think i can walk around in a house with a son from a different relationship. Feminists will call me names, but i stand my ground. You decide to adopt a boy not knowing the deep running traits of his paternal side. You could be bringing up a son with a horrible attitude, dangerous, crime lover. Actually a research on Texan inmates indicated that those bad traits run in genes, being passed from father to son!!
For me, heri nikae
The only way to make it work with a single mother is to have an iron clad agreement that her kid will never set foot in your house, akae na wazazi wake achungiwe huko. Most marriages that amounted to something are those where her kid stayed with her parents and the dude started life on a somewhat clean slate where he didn’t see her other kid/s or interact with them. Lakini wazazi nowadays hawataki kubebeshwa mizigo sio yao (and rightfully so), so it’s just better to hit and run. Its not your baggage so you damn shouldn’t carry it.
