Vipi wadau,
I’m not sure how to phrase this, so, lemme start from the beginning.
Lemme start by saying that I am a part of the statistic, that is the unemployed youth in Kenya. I have never been a fan of being employed, but then again I’ve always loved the idea of working with my hands.
I’m a builder.
So like any other stereotyped dev out there, I’m a fan of coffee. That’s for starters. Jana I had this unquenchable thirst for coffee and coming from a lineage of coffee farmers somewhere in Mathioya, I swing by my dealer and lo and behold. No coffee. Okay we’ll there was some coffee but that’s too freaking expensive. I mean how tha fuck do I buy coffee for 10 Ksh. FyI I’m part of the unemployed youth statistic, so I’ve gotten to really appreciate how 10 - 1 shilling coins can buy you an entire KDF. Anyway, this got me thinking like, in this particular town, I can only buy coffee from one dealer.
Mimi nanunuanga Gibsons (Fuck that shit is bitter as it should be) having learn to brew coffee, I’ve been using this for sometime now. Could this be an opportunity for me to start milling coffee?? Sometime back I’d gotten the vibe that all my mishaps we’re leading me here. I quickly looked through Gibsons fineprint labels to a url that weirdly wasn’t even up. Very weird. Now assumming that the website they’ve clearly put up is a sham should probably imply that the Manufactured at details are also phony.
Hmmm…Interesting right?
I just googled this and found out that 5kg of cherries produce 1kg of ground coffee and if my math is right going by the normal market price for coffee in satchets. This implies that 1kg of coffee should make you roughly …uuhm…
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1 satchet is 1.8g
1kg of coffee has 1000g
1kg of coffee makes 555.55555 (fuck it 556) satchets
1 satche goes for 10Ksh
Implying that 1kg of ground coffee should make them 5,560Ksh
Now recall that 5kgs of coffee cherries make up a single Kilo of ground coffee
Currently the gova whoever it is that buys the cherries from my farming relatives at roughly 50 bob per kilo
so now see the transition from
250Ksh - 5,560Ksh
Do you now see why I’ve been sticking it to the man and buying the cheaper (yet freakishly expensive) 5bob ‘sneaky’ Gibsons coffee?
But now it’s nowhere to be found, I swear shopkeeper kama uko hapa, I’m that guy that came back to your shop jana 5 time in under a span of 20 minutes to ask whether you had Gibsons coffee…ile ya ngovo(Shilingi tano)
So this is the second time I can’t find coffee in a town that is literally surrounded by coffee farms…what gives?
No way on earth I’m the first person in 7 billion people to come up with this conclusion. Right?
So Villagers niambieni…What am I not seeing here?
So why did I share this and not sneakily go and try to replicate it?
Quite simply, if you can make provide me with cheaper coffee or atleast pay me more of the loot as a farmer, then I count it as a win win.
p.s I can brew my own coffee from cherries
But really, what am I not seeing here?
(Fuck you before useme processing, coffee literally needs just roasting, adding flavours and maybe some milkpowder and that’s it)
On a different note wadau natafuta wira
It’s been said that youths need to start manufacturing jobs and all that and as a guy who’s tried that successfully failing in kindu 10 different startups
wacha niandikwe kazi sasa.
So if you have a job opening starting as of February 2019, please don’t hesitate to hit me up. I should probably hint that currently I’m at a certain week in Andela bootcamp, I hold a degree in water related studies(mambo na riparian na brackish waters najua vizuuri sana). Tools and skills I’ve mastered include: HTML, CSS, javascript, jquery, angularjs, MYSQL, arduino, python, php, laravel, wordpress, photoshop, illustrator, Google Sketchup, Fl Studio, Ableton Live, farming After effects. Basics include: Java, Vuejs, Flask, Diptrace and probably some other things I’ve forgotten about.
I can and will do any legal job. Please don’t let my particular skillset distract you, I can do anything though I’m primarily obsessed with tinkering.
Anyway ata kazi ya turnboy niitwo. Kazi sifanyi tu ni ya supermarket (hawa watu wako kazi hadi sunday Ferrrrkkk). If it helps, I had a business ya kutengeneza aquariums but it went tits up.
Back to our coffee dilemma…
Just before hitting post on this I realized that @Tia Dalma had made a post on this…coincidence or not?? Told you I couldn’t be the special one out of 7 billion people ha