Did someone say, nukisha kitunguu??

Lifestyle Parenting
1

Vipi wadau,
I’m not sure how to phrase this, so, lemme start from the beginning.
Lemme start by saying that I am a part of the statistic, that is the unemployed youth in Kenya. I have never been a fan of being employed, but then again I’ve always loved the idea of working with my hands.
I’m a builder.

So like any other stereotyped dev out there, I’m a fan of coffee. That’s for starters. Jana I had this unquenchable thirst for coffee and coming from a lineage of coffee farmers somewhere in Mathioya, I swing by my dealer and lo and behold. No coffee. Okay we’ll there was some coffee but that’s too freaking expensive. I mean how tha fuck do I buy coffee for 10 Ksh. FyI I’m part of the unemployed youth statistic, so I’ve gotten to really appreciate how 10 - 1 shilling coins can buy you an entire KDF. Anyway, this got me thinking like, in this particular town, I can only buy coffee from one dealer.
Mimi nanunuanga Gibsons (Fuck that shit is bitter as it should be) having learn to brew coffee, I’ve been using this for sometime now. Could this be an opportunity for me to start milling coffee?? Sometime back I’d gotten the vibe that all my mishaps we’re leading me here. I quickly looked through Gibsons fineprint labels to a url that weirdly wasn’t even up. Very weird. Now assumming that the website they’ve clearly put up is a sham should probably imply that the Manufactured at details are also phony.
Hmmm…Interesting right?
I just googled this and found out that 5kg of cherries produce 1kg of ground coffee and if my math is right going by the normal market price for coffee in satchets. This implies that 1kg of coffee should make you roughly …uuhm…
[ATTACH=full]216498[/ATTACH]
1 satchet is 1.8g
1kg of coffee has 1000g
1kg of coffee makes 555.55555 (fuck it 556) satchets
1 satche goes for 10Ksh
Implying that 1kg of ground coffee should make them 5,560Ksh
Now recall that 5kgs of coffee cherries make up a single Kilo of ground coffee
Currently the gova whoever it is that buys the cherries from my farming relatives at roughly 50 bob per kilo
so now see the transition from
250Ksh - 5,560Ksh

Do you now see why I’ve been sticking it to the man and buying the cheaper (yet freakishly expensive) 5bob ‘sneaky’ Gibsons coffee?
But now it’s nowhere to be found, I swear shopkeeper kama uko hapa, I’m that guy that came back to your shop jana 5 time in under a span of 20 minutes to ask whether you had Gibsons coffee…ile ya ngovo(Shilingi tano)
So this is the second time I can’t find coffee in a town that is literally surrounded by coffee farms…what gives?
No way on earth I’m the first person in 7 billion people to come up with this conclusion. Right?

So Villagers niambieni…What am I not seeing here?
So why did I share this and not sneakily go and try to replicate it?
Quite simply, if you can make provide me with cheaper coffee or atleast pay me more of the loot as a farmer, then I count it as a win win.
p.s I can brew my own coffee from cherries
But really, what am I not seeing here?
(Fuck you before useme processing, coffee literally needs just roasting, adding flavours and maybe some milkpowder and that’s it)

On a different note wadau natafuta wira
It’s been said that youths need to start manufacturing jobs and all that and as a guy who’s tried that successfully failing in kindu 10 different startups
wacha niandikwe kazi sasa.
So if you have a job opening starting as of February 2019, please don’t hesitate to hit me up. I should probably hint that currently I’m at a certain week in Andela bootcamp, I hold a degree in water related studies(mambo na riparian na brackish waters najua vizuuri sana). Tools and skills I’ve mastered include: HTML, CSS, javascript, jquery, angularjs, MYSQL, arduino, python, php, laravel, wordpress, photoshop, illustrator, Google Sketchup, Fl Studio, Ableton Live, farming :slight_smile: After effects. Basics include: Java, Vuejs, Flask, Diptrace and probably some other things I’ve forgotten about.
I can and will do any legal job. Please don’t let my particular skillset distract you, I can do anything though I’m primarily obsessed with tinkering.
Anyway ata kazi ya turnboy niitwo. Kazi sifanyi tu ni ya supermarket (hawa watu wako kazi hadi sunday Ferrrrkkk). If it helps, I had a business ya kutengeneza aquariums but it went tits up.
Back to our coffee dilemma…

Just before hitting post on this I realized that @Tia Dalma had made a post on this…coincidence or not?? Told you I couldn’t be the special one out of 7 billion people ha

2

the government does NOT deal in coffee

3

figsed
Asanta, I wasn’t too sure myselfu…

4

Who taxes?

5

what tax?

6

Coffee

7

18% is what the govt taxes

8

at what stage?

9

Hesabu yako iko sawa about satchets n all.BUT al tell U this for free, having been in the manufacturing industry for quite sometym.

PACKAGING costs the hell a lot.

Case example; ile panadol unaekewa kwa bahasha kwa chemist ya 2 Bob per tablet ni ile ile unauziwa in the same chemist packaged kwa paired tablets at 10 Bob.
Difference: Packaging cost

10

Yikes!!! I’m always learning something new on Ktalk. Thanks for the headsup.

11

Ikiwa kwa market and it is deducted from the farmers

12

license fees and levies? be more specific with the section.

13

You cant be serious. All this na bado uko jobless. @Deorro kam saidiana hapa kiasi. IT Manager @RetiredVirgin kam okolea bila kusahau mjamaa wa kubuy gari @denis young

14

[ol]
[li]Business[/li][/ol]
[SIZE=6]Lobbies propose tax reductions to revive coffee industry[/SIZE]

MONDAY DECEMBER 14 2015

https://www.nation.co.ke/image/view/-/2995654/highRes/1201779/-/maxw/600/-/sm3jcw/-/cof+pic.jpg
A coffee farmer tends to his crop in Kaiyaba village, Nyeri County, on June 16, 2015. Coffee production in Kenya has been declining from 150,000 tonnes in 1980s to the current 35,000 tonnes. PHOTO | JOSEPH KANYI | NATION MEDIA GROUP
In Summary
[ul]
[li]Agricultural Industry Network Chairman Edward Mudibo and Kenya Coffee Producers Association acting Chief Executive Officer Humphrey Wafula complained that fees and taxes account for 35 per cent of the farmers’ total gross sale.[/li][li]They also want marketing, milling and pulping levies to be scrapped and replaced with competitive pricing for the services.[/li][/ul]
https://www.nation.co.ke/image/view/-/3511236/medRes/1530246/-/tn1cy1/-/brian-ngugi.jpg[B]By BRIAN NGUGI[/B]
More by this Author
Lobbies in Kenya’s coffee sector have proposed tax cuts and new measures to help breathe life into the troubled industry.
Agricultural Industry Network Chairman Edward Mudibo and Kenya Coffee Producers Association acting Chief Executive Officer Humphrey Wafula complained that fees and taxes account for 35 per cent of the farmers’ total gross sale.
“Even the government passes its own costs to the farmers by making the farmers pay for their own Research (2 per cent ad valorem levy), Coffee Directorate (1 per cent) and Road Cess (0.8 per cent),” they said.
Consequently, the entities want statutory levies reduced from 4 per cent to 2 per cent, coffee directorate levy cut from 1 per cent to 0.5 per cent, while the 2 per cent Coffee Research Fund and 0.8 per cent levy by Kenya Roads Board and 0.2 per cent County Levy scrapped.
They also want the government to review the terms and conditions of the marketing companies’ licences as they say there are only 10 firms that buy Kenyan coffee.
As part of this, they want farmers to be allowed to participate in coffee marketing.
“Whereas Vision 2030 encourages farmers to participate in value addition, the coffee regulations are encouraging the opposite,” they said, adding that the current rules, which require coffee unions to have a bank guarantee of Sh100 million to get a marketing agent permit are prohibitive and injurious to farmers.
“It is worth noting that the farmers are already paying the agriculture commodity cess. Why should the farmers undergo so many restrictions to sell their commodity?”
They also want marketing, milling and pulping levies to be scrapped and replaced with competitive pricing for the services.
“The forum is recommending to the government to enact laws and policies that would transform coffee co-operatives into investment vehicles,” they said.
They are also calling for the review of the existing coffee regulations to give farmers “marketing autonomy, increase number of coffee brokers and establish a safety net for the farmers.”
They regretted that coffee production in Kenya has been declining from 150,000 tonnes in 1980s to the current 35,000 tonnes.

15

This is something I do as a hobby not as my main job. Once in a while you will get someone who wants a website done and probably get referrals.

Ion…huyu mtu wa kahawa sijui anafanya hesabu aina gani. The coffee that you get once you process it after roasting is not instant coffee like the one in sachets. It requires more processing. You would be surprised to learn mnakunywa vumbi ya kahawa thinking you are taking quality coffee.

16

Not true, generics can never be compared to originals. Most generics have less active ingredients

17

hizi zote na bado uko jobless? Kwanza kabisa do you have a poertofolio or some of the projects that you have undertaken with the above skills?

18

Ungefanya hivi kitambo

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I was actually working on it before Andela happened and I had to dedicate the time meant for portfolio building to it, so will have it up as soon as the pressure from Andela weighs off…

20

umesoma hiyo article kweli? Wewe ni alarmist kama hao lobbies. wanaongea juu ya 35 lakini waki-tabulate zile levies na statutory deductions zinatolewa hazifiki hata 4 per cent. not even the 18 you are talking about.