Your Question anwswered

It’s now time for me to answer that question that has been plaguing your mortal minds - WHERE THE FUCK DID @Mworia Wameru GO? I want to apologize profusely and unreservedly to all the people with dicks and all those with punanis that have missed my gobbledygook during my hiatus. Now, my time away was triggered by a deluge of factors that were beyond my control. It all started with the demise of my pet dog’s pet dog. Her name was Ella and she was 8 years old at the time of her death. No sooner had the dust settled following this tragic loss than a barrage of thoughts started flooding my mind: why the teacher taught but the preacher did not praught, why the rope was tightened but the fight wasn’t fightened, why the hell the orange was ripening but the pipe wasn’t pipening, why the present tense of struck is trike but the present tense of fuck is not fike! The Queen’s language was boggling my mind and I felt a tinge of frustration. I couldn’t bring myself to the qwerty keyboard and start typing in a language that was this confusing with a dead canine still playing in my mind to boot! Not only was I concerned about the passing of my pet dog’s pet dog and the conundrum that is the English language, but I was also concerned by the handshake. What did it mean? Did it mean that githeri and fish would be named the national dish? Did it mean that when Onyango and Njeri give birth their child would be a national treasure? My mind was confused. Then there was the Man City win of the premier league title and Liverpool’s run to the UCL final. Things were conniving, contriving, colluding, scheming, plotting, conspiring to make it impossible for me to type anything on this God forsaken forum. My mind was not at ease and had not known peace since my significant other’s beloved pet dog lost his pet dog. Things started looking up on Labour Day at around 1100 hours but then the footballing gods wanted Madrid to still be in the final and I was devastated. The next day the footballing gods also made sure that our erstwhile league rivals also made it to the finals (maybe soon they’ll become present day rather than erstwhile rivals). To be continued …

Meanwhile let’s ‘fike’ today because today is a gift that’s why it’s called present. Let’s not wait for to morrow to fike for tomorrow you could wake up without your fiking tool especially if you are from Nyeri. Asandeni sana.

Paras??? sisomi.

Hakuna kitu mbaya kama kuchanganya muguka na fangi, si mnaona matokeo.

Unasema nini?


Unfortunately you can only take a donkey to the stream but you can’t force the donkey to drink. I wouldn’t expect a graduate of computer packages to comprehend the humour. Intellectual humour is not for those devoid of anything inside their cranium. Go herd some goats, bruh!

Niatia murume?Meru ni kuthongi?

if you have to explain it, makes it even drier

you sound disturbed. seek help.

Luna mtu hajaambiwa poa hapa