So there’s this lady with whom we’ve maintained a plutonic relationship for the longest time. She’s cute like hell and I even sometimes fantasize about her lakini I am a one-woman man so fantasy yangu ni mbio za sakafuni ambazo huishia ukingoni. But I digres…
She in October 2015 lost her parents and all her siblings in a road accident hapa Thika Road, leaving her an only child (mtu amefika 25 siwezi muita orphan). Sasa… most mazishi nime-attend upande wa Rift Valley, Central (na Kisii); watu hulia tu mdogo mdogo. Unaskia tu ma sniff, watu ma-handerchif kwa mapua. Of course if umeenda mazishi “pacho ka baba” unajua non-family members[professional mourners] (and even a few close ones) watu ni kupiga “samaa” na kulia kulingana na mourn-o-meter. Usipolia kwa bidii wanaweza hata dai ni wewe unajua “kikulacho”.
Kama umewahi kuenda “Ingoo”, unajua hiyo Isikuti hucharazwa mpaka ng’ombe yenye Khalwale alipea bangi ikatoa hiyo ngozi inalia hata kama @Wakanyama aliashaiuza Dagoo!. “tu-tu-tu! tu-tu-tu! 'Luwere{3,2,3} , Luwere Nyasaye akhulinde!, tu-tu-tu! tu-tu-tu!” … Hawa vijana wakishavuta ndomu na wa-kunywe “marwa” ‘kitoko’ tu; isikuti mpaka asubuhi. Were it not that uko kwa maombolezo/mazishi, you may even like it… na sa hizo the dead guy ako kwa open casket pale mbele…; and if you have unfinished business with the dude, just go there and “talk” to him. Akikijibu ujue kuna shida. Lakini kusikia atasikia… or so the theory goes.
…back to my story…
so this chick is all devastated, collapsing every now and again… sometimes upto four times a day, calling “Woooi Daddy!, Mum! Mum! mummeniacha na nani…!!” Over, and Over and Over. Faint!! Wake up! Start again! Over, and over, and over… Basically just being miserable. Understandable coz they were a close-knit family; and in fact, were it not for last-minute, job-related commitments angekua nao pale!
When she gets all sad and mournful, her friends who are helping her out also start crying and the whole thing becomes one, huge sad affair. And when it all goes to shit, they call me “IsMundu, si uongee na rafiki yako awache kulia haki”
Sasa leo amelia, akalia, akalia… and all efforts to calm her were not fruitful. I got mad. Nikamwambia “Juliet! Stop being selfish. Your friends have been by your side for like three weeks! When you cry so miserably you affect all of them. They have been strong for you for three weeks. It’s now your turn to be strong for them! They are also hurting (most are cousins)! It’s time to put all this sad affair behind us and move on!”
She fainted!
Now everyone is on my case. “Why are you being so heartless!.. Blah, blah, blah!!!”
So… Am I really heartless, or just pragmatic! And… does the world have love for pragmatic people!!? NB: Wazazi wangu walijikata pia; but kitambo kidogo… Hii drama hakukuwa. Does it mean I loved my parents less?