There are truths you’re supposed to learn when you’re young so that you don’t waste your life. For example, the fact that although you hear a lot about love and your feelings naturally long to experience it, it’s actually not the most important thing in life. That in fact love ranks third in the order of importance behind self reliance or personal resourcefulness and peaceful living.
That you must first develop your personal resources so that you can bring value to your love relationships, and the same resourcefulness becomes your fallback plan and a lifeline in case your love relationships fail. The person can change their mind about you, or their own fortunes can suddenly collapse.
Peaceful living, on the other hand, is the principle of preferring calm over stress and strife. That there are people you may love very much but you distance yourself from them nonetheless once you notice that your connection, for one reason or other, is always disturbing or strenuous. You understand that there are people who are like water and potassium; they can exist peacefully as long as they don’t mix, but once they come into contact there are explosions. That there are people with whom you’re better off apart in the interest of peace. And none of you is necessarily a bad person.
That those who violate this rule and settle in love relationships that have no peace eventually end up getting consumed by stress and strife. Longevity and productivity require peace first and foremost, even before love. You need an environment in which you can sleep at night and rest after a long day. This is a matter of survival and not an optional luxury.
(©️ Benjamin Zulu Ke)