Ladies do you really love someone if you are cheating on them? Semeni tuu ukwela. Even if you are cheating to get even, it’s coz you are no longer in love with that person coz when you are in love with someone, you don’t have eyes for other people. By the time you can go out with another guy hadi you bed them, you do not love that man anymore. Ni ile tuu either you can’t leave the person coz you have kids and are married or you are avoiding the pain of the eminent break up coz you are in denial that you don’t love this person anymore.
Ladies let’s just be honest with ourselves, by the time you are even considering cheating, that relationship is over. You are just buying time or you are staying for other reasons but not love. What’s love got to do with it.
This thing of competing with men to cheat, is not really a woman thing. Ati he sleeps with your best friend, you go and sleep with his best friend. Na unajua wanaume hawanyamazangi, lazima ata ngaze.
Its not necessary to cheat just accept that the person has destroyed the love, respect and trust you had in them. So just leave peacefully with no drama, the way you came. If it’s a marriage, focus on your own life and protects and your kids.
There’s no need to go out there and risk diseases and shame bcz you are trying to escape the pain of being disappointed by someone who you put on a pedestal. Putting people on a pedestal turns a halo into a noose. Have you realized that the more you idolise someone, the harder it is to get over it and forgive when they mess up?
By the time you start even just considering cheating or finding other men attractive, you know that mapenzi imeisha on your side. Don’t be in denial. Deal with the real issue instead of escaping through affairs. If you are no longer happy in a relationship and you no longer love someone unless you are married or you are dependent on the guy financially, just leave, you can’t force yourself to love someone who you don’t even respect anymore.
Most women get caught up in the previous investment made on the relationship. The time. The emotional investment. The public image, what people will say but let me tell you from experience, there’s nothing worse than staying in a relationship which no longer makes sense to you bcz you are fearing the pain of breaking up.
When I look at Sharon Njeri the lady who killed herself, I see how she held on to a toxic relationship until it went down the drain with her. She was afraid of being a single mum of two but girls, if there’s one person who you can never lie to, it’s yourself. If it’s time to leave, it’s either you leave or you find coping mechanisms like drinking and sleeping around but in the end the cognitive dissonance will crush your spirit.
Do you know what is truly spectacular? The ability to be true yourself. When you realise it’s time to walk away, you walk away with no fear bcz you love yourself, above anyone and you know your worth. You will not compromise your self respect and peace of mind just to impress people with a marriage that leaves you crying yourself to sleep every night and getting ulcers. Tujipende wamama.
Nothing is more important in this world than when you lay your head down to sleep, peace covers you like a blanket. I remember Gloria Muliro talking about her exe husband Pastor Omba, she said that she was so frustrated and unhappy that she sat down and tried to remember what it used to be like to be at peace and she could not remember bcz she had never experienced peace for the entire 6 years she had been married to the pasta. She was trapped in a pure hell bcz of fearing church and society. Then one day she really cried to God to remind her what it was like to be at peace and God gave her the strength to leave the marriage. When you are true to yourself and sincere with God, you will avoid alot of problems in this world. Don’t force yourself to stay in toxic situations bcz this life is just too short to waste your time and invest your emotional energy on people who no longer serve you. Cut your losses and start over. God accepts U Turns. Be blessed.
