Winding Down 2015............Hasta La Vista, Baby

Just sitting here, scratching my balls and winding down the year. Am breaking the rule never to drink in the mornings - for the next 20 days am working half-day, drunk.

Looking back, 2015 is probably the year I’ve had the least pussy, largely because I wasted like six months going after The Fish. Stupid me, all I got were barbs and bites. Should have known better, really, moved on quickly.

Financially, 2015 has been so-so. Kusema na kutender, but the gava cash crunch that lasted 6 months almost did us all in. Na unajua kama tendapreneurs are doing badly, enterpanuas too suffer. The whole economy really.

So, a 50-50 year for guka. I don’t know whether am gonna score @Akeelah in the remaining 20 days, but I intend to end it with a bang.

So, how was your year?

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@Nefertities, guka anakudai

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It has to be always better that yesteryears

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wewe mzee ,hii kitu naskianga eti euro bond ni nini?

Guka, sasa kama bado unatafuta kuma na unashinda ukisema population control, watu wasizae kama panya etc. Ni nini mbaya? Si uendee vasectomy mara moja.

Ni bratha ya James Bond, serre!

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@Guka Kidinyi

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I know you are breathing a sigh of relief through all your orifices, but not too fast, the year is still not over yet and full of possibilities. You could trip over your catheter and die.

Anyway, got laid, fished my diploma, got a raise, got laid, first year masters nearly complete and did I mention I got laid?

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They invented birth control like three centuries ago…you can orgasm without fertilising…

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Good for me. Lots of Mulla and other personal developments!

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If I didn’t die this year, am likely to survive next year. It couldn’t get worse.

  1. Am spending 50% of my time and resources daddy-sitting my old guy.
  2. I got broke before completing a project I had invested several ms. Mark you am blacklisted at CRB, so a loan is out of question.
  3. Shule zilifungwa kama bado nadai pesa ya supplies. Nitalipwo next yr, hopefully.
  4. I lost 4 close relatives. Not that I miss them though. Am just worried by the burdens (kids) that they left behind.
  5. My son cleared form four. Am worried by the company he’s keeping. I beat him seriously on Saturday.
  6. My househelp is expecting. I suspect either my son or the dad is responsible. Or both.
  7. I got sued by my neighbor for poisoning his dogs. Kesi bado kortini.
  8. I saw some grey hair on my head. My friends can’t stop talking about it.
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Aviator are you for real?

Nos 4 through 9, God, what kind of twisted, ferked up life are you living? Yaani your hazi and son have been banging the maid, then you took it all out on the poor dogs?

And that thing about not missing your relas, damn, what kind of a cold-hearted bisch are you? To you kids are burdens? Your old dad is burden? Damn, you are selfish witch!

Waaaaaaaaaaaah, let me down another White CUP…

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…oooh 2015…its been tough…from losing Jimmy, to losing my sister: These are some of the events i am yet to get over…but all in all i thank God every day…

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talk of deflections!

And here I am telling myself I’ve had a shitty year

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Hehehehe…Enyewe hivi ndo unajuanga curses are real…Masaibu left right and centre…

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Pole. Misfortunes makes us more stronger and most importantly closer to God.

Pole Supu. Grass will grow.

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si ungeona Pope kando…

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they make us appreciate every new day…