So yesterday, I get to my home town after a very busy day at work. I decide to visit some BFF whom I usually consider mad. I know that he is mad, but I love chilling around crazy guys. Easy doesn’t do it for me. I head into his room without knocking, as usual. I find a dark chic, in presumably her 20s, busy lapdancing on the guy. With just that 3-second encounter, I’m certain she’s a lil good bubbler. Across the room, I spot two colorless buckets, having fruits of different kinds. That assures me the chic is a mobile fruit vendor. So, I offer my apologies, and give them the go-on sign.
Just to mention, this BFF doesn’t have a job, has never been to college, but makes lumpsums online. How? I’ve never understood.
Apparently, this lady knows how to fake good moans. Ah, I can tell she is faking. Almost 30 girls have been on that same bed. Do they scream? No. Why? That, I also don’t know. It’s then after hours that I realize why she was faking the moans.
I won’t stand the crap. I walk out of the home and head to my favorite joint. I don’t take beer. So, I order my Vodo. I am now winding the day off, settling some issues with the joint owner. Not debts.
Minutes later, my very BBF walks in. He’s drunk. I couldn’t have noticed. He isn’t embarrassed that I ‘saw’, as usual.
Here is what he tells me, “Aki , ebu enda apo ivo kejani kwa gate uangalie uyo dem ka ameenda." me is like “poa, nichekie tei nikam”
again he bursts, “alafuu, si uache umenishika kitu, ntakurefund dooh zangu zikiingia next week”. Me, “itakua hard but tulia nikam, unaezakua ukichapa hio yangu in the mean time.”
He’s like "sawa ka”…
I set out off and straight to his home. I meet the chic, glued herself onto a wall at the gate. She asks me, 'ako wapi beshte yako?" I can see the worry she has right from her face.
Me: amesema ameenda kidogo anakam
her: walahi imagine amenieka sana hapa na alikua na dooh yangu
my thoughts: Kwani this is a whore, was she getting paid for services rendered?
Me: dooh za?
Her: walahi sahii ni late, nimechelewa already. Tulipatana town akanisho nkimfikisha kwake home atabuy hizi fruits zote na alipe double the price. 2k.
Me am lost for words. I verily know well the guy doesn’t have any money and here’s yet another foolish chic waiting for money
me: unastay far?
Her: eeeh, uthiru. Aki nahope hanidanganyi. Hata shika hizi maembe na watermelons ju siezienda nazo. Hua nachukua fresh kila siku. Nataka ziishe.
Me is thinking: this fool, me can’t decline the free offer.
I take as many fruits as I can, but not enough to make me cursed. As I couldn’t help, or rather, didn’t want to help, I signal her, "acha niende nimwangalie place najua naezampata nikuje.
I take the fruits home, cash out some money, and head back to the aforementioned joint. Astonishingly, the BFF is drunk times three now, with yet another chic, embracing and cuddling. I take my usual seat, order another drink, and take the drink slowly as I anticipate how many curses will befall this negro of mine for dumbplaying so many innocent girls. I anticipate daily, not that I hate him.