Vipi wadau? mtaniwia radhi kwa kuwahadithia hii hekaya kwa lugha ya Sheng lakini mkiona vyema nitawatafsiria kwa lugha ya kiswahili kwa wakati mwingine. Haya basi poromoka nayo!
Umewaifunzwa na a partially blind teacher? Ili asome homework he has to bring his book close to his eyes. Very hard and tedious if you ask me. Huyu ndiye alikuwa my swahili teacher. Homework sikuwa nafanya…hata sikuwa na exercise book ya kiswahili in the first place. Hata class ya kiswahili haikuwa lazima kuattend. Wakati wa kuhesabiwa class kama siko beshte yangu Mose alikuwa anatoka desk yake anakuja yangu so that he’s counted twice. Isitoshe hata class mtu alikuwa anafungua mlango pole pole anatoka kama inaendelea. Lakini kwangu mlango ilikuwa mbali sana kwa hivo nilikuwa narukia kwa dirisha kwa sababu it had no grills. Hiyo ndio wakati Kyanguli high-school ilikuwa imechomeka so there was a ministry directive all grills on windows zitolewe in schools.
You know sometimes unataka kuattend P.E lesson ya the other class ama unataka kuota jua juu kuna baridi but mwalimu ako class. So siku moja kulikuwa na funkie shule and headteacher alikuwa amesema wale hawaparticipate wabaki class mpaka 10:00 am. We were sure as hell kutakuwa na rollcall hio asubuhi so tukaenda class as usual. Fortunately for me, the second lesson was Kiswahili. Mimi nikangoja mpaka roll-call ikacome around nikamarkiwa present juu sikuwa nataka ngori. Halafu mwalimu akarudi huko mbele akaendelea kufunza. Mimi nikajua this is my opportunity. So nikaskuma dirisha polepole bila kumake noise mpaka ikakuwa wide open. Then nikajibu a few questions mwalimu alikuwa anauliza class ili asishuku.
Huko Inje kulikuwa na madem wengi sana na nilikuwa nataka nianze kukatia mapema kabla shule ya dem yangu ifike…at least by then nikuwe nimepata jina ya dem mpya na a correct shipping address ya kutuma barua afterwards. Before dem yangu afike the damage would be done! Halafu nilikuwa nataka pia nikanunue satchets za marrycane (for youngsters hii ilikwa equivalent ya kibao liquor) kabla Musa the supplier apotee.
Sasa nikapanda kwa dirisha pole pole nikaangalia nyuma nikaona mwalimu anaendelea kufunza fasihi then nikaruka chini. Kukanyaga chini hivi tu nikashtukia nimepigwa teke ya tumbo na slap mpaka nikaanguka. Kuangalia juu nikapata ni Makende Chatu who coincidentally was the swahili teacher for the next class. Watu walikuwa wameshafika funkie wakanotice kuna vita mahali wakaanza kugather around…Makende akanipeleka kwa class which was already laughing halafu akanipatiana kwa our swahili teacher who held my hand tightly na akamwambia “Shika huyu mangaa vizuri umpeleke kwa deputy anangoja!” Swahili teacher akanishika firmly mpaka kwa ofisi ya DHT where I received six of the best plus punishment ya kukatia ngombe za shule nappier grass. Hata sikuona funkie…then jamaa fulani wakabrief dem yangu alipofika so hata my letters afterwards went unanswered. Kutoka hio siku nikaamua kuoncentrate kwa darasa ya kiswahili actually got an A in the subject and authored a few shairi that made it to the principals office.