Today I have been thinking about days gone by. I have thought about schooling years, from primary to college. Of boozing and clubbing. Of my workplaces. And of young me in the countryside. In all these, I had fun hanging out with people who had become friends because of the shared workplace, school or interest in booze. Naively, I thought we shall maintain contact through life. Today I realise life is not like that. I have lost contact with many of the people. We did not disagree on anything but communication died slowly, and that is it.
Of course there are those who thought they had early success and cut communication so that they do not have to share their spoils. Then there are those that went majuu and had no business with lesser mortals. Then there those life has not been kind to them. Few have passed on. I can’t rule out jealousy either.
This got me thinking about why we assume people are our friends simply because we drink in the same local, work at the same place or live in the same mtaa. Sometimes the so called friendship is a parasitic relationship. Maybe footing bills at the local once in a while or providing mkopo to your ever broke colleague. Remove any of these and the distance between you widens.
I now understand why people over 40 do stupid things. Becoming alcoholics. Squandering loans with mistresses. And committing suicide. It is lonely as you grow older.
You are likely to get loyalty and trust from people you have known since you were young. As for people you have met later in life, in most cases it is a facade that drops once you are out of sight.
Telling a genuine friend is the most difficult thing. Just appreciate your loved ones more.
On their death bed, most mortals regret is having not given their family the time and attention they ought to have
This is what I was addressing the other day… When u say friends u had when young, what age do u mean?.. Coz with childhood friends you’ll outgrow each other… Some don’t seem to grow… I think college friends should be the most long lasting…
But you’ll also have to understand that life happens… People start families, businesses which takes their time n energy… Ata hao wanadhani umewasahau
Most of my current circle of friends are the ones we schooled with in primo,seko ni kiasi,wa colle ndio tumepoteleana but there are still afew si uonana mara kwa mara…what i have learnt over the years ni kuwa mtu ni watu.no man is an island
You pick a few friends in this stages as you grow up right from primary, high school, college and work place . They make us appreciate the core values of life if chosen wisely. We are social beings.
Some of the closest friends I have are friends of friends.
Most of the friends who introduced me to them we’ve somehow drifted apart over the years. Can anyone relate?
As you age You ONLY lose friends if you go broke or not doing as well as your peers… Angalia your friends vizuri, you are either on the same level assets wise ama a small disparity
Friends are like people you meet in matatu. Some drop along the way as others board. At the end of your journey, you either drop alone or with few mates.
Uamke ngware (as early as 5.00AM depending on where you stay, and how far you commute), udandie nganya/bike/Porsche yako… whatever. By 7:45AM uko job… Shughuli ya employer (hata kama wewe ni self-employed, hao customers ndio employers wako) mpaka 5:30PM (or later ukingojea ka-jam kaishe)… Kimbia class/chama/golf/side-hustle/Sabina Joy/[insert your afte hustle] mpaka 8:00PM. Tafuta means za kurudi area ya mtaani maybe ufike 10.00PM. Catch-up with supper/news/ka-local/kufua uniform ya mhindi na ikauke before kesho/home-work/deadlines/targets… By the time unalala ni 11:30PM to midnight. Rinse, Repeat Monday to Friday!
Sato ikifika kuna job half-/three-quarter-day baadaye kuna laundry/game/pints kadhaa/mairungi/date/movie… Sunday umechoka kama gunia and you are dreading the “morn” coz this shi+ starts all over again!!
Sometimes inakua ngumu kutafutana na wasee when most of them kukutoanisa tu, ndo zao!