When You're Fervently Calling On Jesus But He's Too Busy...

…going down on his mother Mary to hear your prayers. Satan seems to have made Lagos his stomping ground on Wednesday, with no god, jesus or angels to challenge him as he brought hell on earth.
Maybe…and this might come as a surprise to 99% of us…maybe there’s no god or jesus, and if they exist, they have better things to do than give a shit about you and your pathetic life. Maybe these disasters are happening because…again, this might sound like a revolutionary new concept…we simply don’t give a shit about safety!!!
Ah, that’s too revolutionary, even for me. My head hurts from all this “overthinking”. Satan sounds like a more logical cause of the disaster. It was satan, let’s dedicate next sunday’s church service to thorough spiritual warfare. This satan must be taught a lesson. After church, let’s buy rosaries and crucifixes and other paraphernalia, hang them around our necks and in our vehicles, and go on with our lives, confident in the knowledge that we’re protected by the blood of jesus.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UeQoLUnVmrs

Incidentally, the words the woman in the video is shouting, “JESUS!!! JESUS!!! OH MY GOD!!” sound like something Mary would say if jesus did go down on her :D:D:D

Jesus died a long time ago, even his bones have since turned to dust

Verily I say unto thee, thou shalt burn in hell for thy blasphemy :D:D
We all know that jesus rose up on the third day. He’s now in heaven, on his father’s right hand side, waiting for judgement day so he can punish all sinners. Repent this very minute, you worthless sinner!!!

Mtu anapoisoma hadithi ya Yesu kuna vitu vingi vimefichwa.

Kwa mfano itakuwaje jamii nzima ya wakati huo imlaani na kumkemea kiasi cha kwamba wakaona ni vyema wale wahalifu wawili (wezi, wabakaji, wanyang’anyi) waachiliwe huru na huyo Yesu ambaye kazi yake ya kila siku ilikuwa kuponya, kulisha watu na kuitakia jamii baraka afungwe na kuuliwa?

Kuna mengi tusiyoambiwa kuhusu mienendo ya Yesu

The greatest mistake is thinking that God answers your prayers just bc you asked Him to.

Is it the mistake of the child to ask for bread from his father?

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Jesus going down on his mother, @kyuktothecore ? Ngai! Wewe ile kaswende itakupata siku moja wacha tu…:D:D:D:D:D

Brother @FieldMarshal CouchP, the scriptures tell us Mary was made pregnant by god, so as to gift humanity his son jesus. The scriptures also inform us that god is made up of the trinity, making jesus a third of the equation. Meaning when god was “knowing” Mary, in the biblical sense, jesus was either observing or actively participating :D:D

jesus raising from the dead is only possible if pigs could fly
he never died in the first place…wait,in the first place he never existed

Seems god took a day off.pole kwa waliokutwa na msiba

usiumize kichwa na kupoteza muda…jesus never existed
the fairytales you read in that book they call bible are just fabricated stories

So I should eat all my money without worrying about tithing?

a fool thinks there is no God.

drink it too
tithing is the worst theft men ever invented

Guuka,if she was a virgin does it mean that Jesus is the one who broke his mother’s Uuuuuhhhhmmm. …wait,what the actual fuuuck:oops: