when your wife expands from 2GB to 16GB

Copied from Confessions.

I fell in love with a beautiful gal during my third year in college and who would have thought that my beautiful gal would one day turn out to be my wife today?. well me.

I made sure that when she became my girl, i protected her from the most dominant species in campus back then which was a large hybrid group of lusty salivating male human hyenas that would have killed so as to devour another person’s catch i.e my girlfriend in this case.

She had a nice body, 2gb or maximum 3gb and was very polite.

I introduced her to my parents whilst i was still in campus and they liked her then after i finished my course and found a job, i went for my killer move, i impregnated her while she was still in college so as i could mark my territory although hyenas will always be hyenas, some were hitting on my 8 month pregnant gal.

Shortly after she finished, i tied the knot with her and we’ve been living happily until last year reason being her weight.

She was a good portable piece of sweet cargo but she added tremendous weight within a very short period.

Her ass has doubled or trippled in size and her tummy is starting to swell i bet by the time we have our second child, i won’t know if she is pregnant or not.

My inspiration in taking time to write this confession is the hind sector or as many call it, the booty. I used to do all sort of styles from doggy-style to caterpillar to praying mantis but now am limited to ONLY the good old missionary style because of two reasons.

First is i can’t lift her easily or else i would fall and if she happened to fall on me in the process, with this weight am sure it would be ICU case direct.

Second is the size of her newly formed gigantic booty. Men i know you know this but don’t speak. You need a bigger johnny to perfom some styles so doggy-style has been off the menu for me for a while, actually it will never come back.

She also excretes excess heat such that i have to use a light bedding sheet even in cold seasons and i’ve noticed that she has more fluids when we have sex.

What am wondering is, did she use pills to get more fat after the pregnancy and if yes, why would she do that? i was perfectly fine with her body.

It has reached a point i now sometimes think she did it to impress another man when am away but it’s just a thought.

I would love to get advice from everyone on their view about my situation because i still love my wife although something unrecoverable has been lost.

Okwonkwo’s advice:

Gift your wife a gym membership this Christmas season. By the time Valentines day comes around in 2018, she’ll have cut down weight from an unsightly hippopotamus to an adorable gazelle.


@Okwonkwo , I feel its abit personal on this matter, am afraid what wana kijiji might advice bro.


This is a young man who was told at the wedding by the old women who talk not to think about a side dish. Now experience is coming through as the best teacher.

1 Like

hehehe, sio mimi. Nimecopy somewhere, I have even acknowledged so.


Uncle @uwesmake kuja ujitetee hapa.


Always ensure you’ve had a good look at your mother/father-in-law…you’ll have a rough idea of how your future partner will turn out.


Wacha watu wadishi. Iko nene!


My advise, hoping it will be valid give her out as an Xmas present to the village momo lover.


:eek::eek::eek: uweskimwi?

sawa buda sikua nimeona, hekaya ilibamba sana nikasahau headings:D:D:D

1 Like

Here is the apparent momo


Aii asha I beg to differ. My Mum is quite overweight. She is of the generation that let themselves go and now she regrets bigtime as she is not as mobile as she would want to be and moans constantly about it and wishes she did things differently. She and my Aunties always remind us to watch our portions.

So if my Man was to look at me as you have suggested, he would ditch me forthwith.


she’ll have cut down weight from an unsightly hippopotamus to an adorable gazelle.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D hii ujinga yenu imezidi. Nafunga Ktalk juu ya hii story



@Doltress , dear? ata wewe unaelewa mambo ya momo?, I thought ladies hawapendi sana hiyo figure, just asking?

1 Like

My little piece of advice, though this maybe too late, before marrying a girl, take a good look at her mother, that will be her size in a few years.


I concur mkubwa, my father adviced me on that, although MFW has refutted on that thinking.

1 Like

stopped reading here!

she added weight because you stopped spelling


troll of the year niaje.


We have just said hii ni uongo. My Mum is way overweight. Na mimi nashikilia my GBs hata nikianguka on the treadmill. My maternal grandma was not overweight like my Mum. But she died of a heart condition.