When i was still learning how to drink alcohol

My father was a very strict man who guided us to where we are now and i will always appreciate him for that. That said when i became a teenager, hormones and sense of adventure led me to sample life. Immediately i joined college i wanted to try alcohol as i had heard my peers narrate in create detail how they were experts in the same. So i asked my best friend and cousin to join me in my rebellion adventure to start drinking. On a Saturday after saving for a while we went to centre which was close by to begin our adventure. We went to a bar hidden in one of those narrow passage/alley/street away from possible company that may identify us. We literary acted as “wenyeji” and ordered 2 beers each which actually was all the money we had saved. We drank those two beers with so much excitement like having learned how to use our mammalian glands for the first time.

Before we could finish a figure who dressed familiar showed up in the pub and i quickly realized it was my colourful uncle. We didn’t know whether to ran or pretend that it didn’t bother us. So he greets everyone and sits with us. “so siku hizi mnajua kukunywa pombe” “haya leo mtakunywa vizuri” He called the barmaid and asked tupewe tatu tatu. At this point we are Hi5 and extremely excited. Within 1 1/2 hours we are done and we go to give thanks before we leave. He just smiles and told us to go back and sit down. 5 beers each come soon after. Now our brains get overloaded…how will we finish this…5 beers. My cousin comes up with an good idea we drink two slowly and hide the other 3 beers on our waist so that next weekend we are sorted. So this time after finishing our two beers we wake up quickly and try say bye at the door of the pub to make a quick exit. Wapi, no sooner we said bye our uncle wakes up and follows us leaving. He then asked we go to another butchery/pub to buy supper. We get there and he asks we sit down as he wekesha nyama. We sit down and another 5 beers land in the table. At that point and i think one of the few times i was ever sad to see beer infront of me, i’m scared. We can’t hide more beers in our waist and he is here sitting with us. Amateur as we are, we are already drunk. The first beer done, the second clearly struggling. We signal to go the loo while wobbling as we walk. Survival kicks in and we decide to make a ran for it like all stupid defeated teens. We get out of the loo and ran for the exit but only we can hear that loud laughter from patrons, Once outside our feet are dragging like rubber and momentarily we head in the wrong direction before going back the right way and ignite another round of laughter.

Why i remember this today, it was on a madaraka day and my dad (after my uncle told him) keeps laughing about this upto today.


Hehehehehe, was that uncle the cousins dad?

You Cousin
2 2
3 3
5(-3) 5(-3)
5(-3) 5(-3)

9 9
Kuulizatu… you took 9 drinks each and only managed to stagger out of the second joint? …and that was the first time you tasted beer? Man!!! Either that beer bottle was full of water laced with a tiny drop of alcohol, or you have the best alcohol resistant body, else, umetuenjoi…but ni sawa tu. DDO @Mathaais ataelezea zaidi pombe ikiisha kishwani asubuhi…


Very possible, it all depends with how long it lasted. First time I took seven, lakini nili lala kwa matatu ikapiga several town to banana trips while I was supposed to shukia ruaka


I’d want to hear from him as to how long the spree lasted.
My first time drinking i only managed 4 and i was caput! Good thing i was in a company of veteran geezers who assisted me to Khoja kwa Matt za 106, then hadi kejani. I felt weak, and even told myself ‘never again’. Well, lets just say i learnt to drink in moderation…Now even 8 beers still leaves me sober, so i just decided to stick with No.4

How can 3 beer bottles fit around the waist? Calculating the trouser and belt size …



What a peculiar bar…when patrons are not drinking, they’re sleeping.

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Hehehehe. clever uncle, he made you hate alcohol.

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As the quoted guru in these matters, it’s impossible for a beginner to drink that much. The body isn’t as yet used to alcohol so you get drunk very fast on very little not to mention beginners are prone to throwing up.
My first time to drink I only managed 3 white caps and it was a struggle to finish the third one.

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Morning everyone, we took the first two beers in like 1-2 hrs. The other 3 beers in something like 2-3hrs and until that moment life was good. When the 5 beers came maisha ikakuwa ngumu and hide 3 kwa trouser. Took 1 left the other nearly full. The last 5 didn’t even register. Even just drinking the 1st one was very hard and that’s when we ran away.

No, I have 8 uncles and 9 aunts. He was the youngest one.

We started at around lunch time, lost track of time around 5ish there, when we ran its was at night and I think we slept something around 10pm

Funny enough I don’t remember where the 3 beers on my waist went. It must have fell.

Hehehe nice one!

i can relate

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