When I tell you NEVER go out on a limb for any man this is why

Sex & Relationships
1

Wanaume ahsante ni mateke. Please ladies shughuli ka na Maisha yako, build yourself, do not build a man in any way, don’t have kids with men who are not your husband and who can’t provide ati you are the one providing for the man. Ati paying fees. Acha kujifanya IMF ya kusaidia wanaume. Stop giving men free sex. I assure you that men have nothing but contempt for ANYTHING they never worked for. At my age, I can’t give a man anything infact I block anyone who has nothing to offer me. I don’t entertain men in my house. Unless you are carrying something heavy to my house, it’s a no go zone for men. What kind of nonsense is this surely. @Finest wine come see our women. What are you doing as a young lady in campus paying fees for a man, are you his mother?Ati I moved him into my house? WHAT? My friend, kweli this is insanity. Madness. I had to read twice and thrice to believe ati this woman paid fees for her dead beat baby daddy. Wazimu is real. Anyway merry Christmas and visit a doctor soon this is not normal.

Copied

KINDLY READ THROUGH…This is the first christmas am spending away from my baby boy 5.5yrs now. On the 1st of this month i stood at the Children’s court Nakuru & listened being accused of being MENTALLY ILL & therefore an UNFIT MOTHER. This is a child i’ve raised right from day 1( 14th June 2015) every second, minute, hour & day by his side, untill he joined PP1(7th May 2019 at 8:17 am) at age 3yrs 11months. I remember i had to put my dreams & career aside & be a mum, with no househelp at all i raised my baby. When he was about 2yrs old i would take him to our then electronics shop at pipeline Embakasi, Nairobi untill 9pm, a business of which was started with my own capital. In 2020, i have only been able to see my baby thrice & i had to cause drama to be allowed access to him & that’s when i was taken to children’s court. They first tried to reconcile us by calling a mediator by the name Sheila( short dyed hair & petite) which proved impossible, then followed by ‘private sessions’ & lastly, we were called in together. Am told the child might be taken to a Children’s home by some lady. The other party says ‘they’ will go to court to file for sole custody & sue me for child neglect. Mind you in 2019, we had come home to Nakuru from Nairobi, for December holidays & a 2months job contract. Then one night in December after a back & forth am dumped at my grandmother’s, asked not to go back to a place i’ve known as home for 7yrs. He say he’s taking the child with him because he already paid 2 terms school fees. Am left confused, no child, no family & with debts of which he had borrowed using my phone, to pay back & back to square one, from a life i had build from scratch for 8yrs. Those who know me personally can attest to my motherhood, me as a parent, my mental stability & how hard i always work. I try to call to talk to my baby but am blocked, I try reason with this person’s mother but all she does is rain insults on me. I don’t know what i ever did to this family or this particular person to hurt me using my own child, of whom i almost died bringing into this world. I’ve seen some of my family members & people i considered close friends abandon me because of this particular issue, but I thank God for a few strangers who stepped in. So i ask, how did the Children’s court come to the conclusion i was mentally ill? Coz honestly i went to the washroom & on coming back it was already ruled out, that the child would still stay with his father who untill this minute won’t allow me even a phone call to my child…Even so, do i not have any right to see or talk to my baby even if its for one second? What kind of law & justice is this? I wish someone would help or advice on the issue & be my Christmas miracle. How i even manage to go through this pain & still put up a strong front & a smile is through God’s grace. There are times am really really struggling to see my purpose in this life. May i also add that this particular person Joel Kimemia Maina, has been at some point even Physically abusive where he smacked my face & when i was down drugged & locked me up in the bedroom infront of my child, but i was asked by his parents to let it slide “ndoa ni kuvumilia”. He was emotionally abusive where he would tell me i was ugly, had big front teeth & cellulites on my legs, that i walked bent & no other man would look at me twice or want to marry me especially with a boy child… This person said i wasted his 7yrs, i wonder where mine went to… Anyone who knew us from campus knows how much i stood by this person, even aiding with his fee at some point, from completely nothing, where he moved into my house, to where we were owning a business & even a vehicle. After birth i went through a post natal depression & this people were not kind to me. I was told i was pretending & even told they would call police on me, take my baby & let me go wherever i wanted to. At some point when i said i wanted to go back to my place i was asked to clean my baby’s & my clothes till my CS wound re-opened but i had to keep it to myself… Its one lonely Christmas for me but i wish you all a Merry Christmas.

2

This is sad. Don’t give your all to a human bieng. Your all belongs to God and your children. She will have to fagia those debts coz maybe the business was started in that vampire’s name as well as the car.

3

But frankly @Finest wine what is wrong with our women? Bcz they are too giving but to people who don’t care about them, you find the same women, can’t do anything for their parents but will give a foot and an arm to men. I think there’s a demon. How do you give your phone to the same man who beats you? To take loans? This loan issue is too much in Kenya.

4

I will tell you one thing. Most Kenyan men have not evolved. They don’t know the meaning of honour, respect and such virtues. What they have instead is a great sense of entitlement. I saw a post you put up the other day. About this woman who has saved hard so that she can go back to school. Meanwhile this nigga who is younger than her wants to ‘borrow’ that money, to set up a business and then ‘educate’ her once the business is up and running. This is an evil schemer and this woman should ditch him ASAP. Most of our women are hardworking and can plan well. But it takes a v rare man to appreciate that you bailed him out when he was down.
If women don’t erevuka this time round they never will…
I think there is pressure for women to stay in marriages…even those dead like a dodo.

5

I remember. She would have never seen that money again.

6

This one right here sounds like she losing her sanity. I have seen this happen to some friends and family members. You are taken round and round in circles mpaka unashindwa what is the point of living. He now wants to take the child from her. And now that she has anikad him online ajitayarishe…

7

The way she is talking about life having no purpose plus post partum depression could lead to suicide. Her people need to step up and support her very strongly. In Kenya custody goes to the one who has the money to bribe officials. Many men have snatched the kids from the mother permanently, getting sole custody, leaving the mother of the child in severe depression. I know of a grandmother who was awarded sole custody, she just paid off child court, the mom became alcoholic to cope. The child is an adult now. We still live in a patriarchal society where even children belong to men. Others who pay child support but are not the custodial parent force the mother to have sex with them for them to support their own child. When you live in a lawless country like Kenya, as a woman, your priority after showering, praying and eating should be closing your legs permanently bcz in Kenya having a man’s child gives him alot of power. I know a married man who was a dead beat and the wife took him to court, the guy would pay off court clerks to ensure that the case kept getting deferred, to date he’s never paid a dime and he is working. Kenya is a very partrichal and misogynist society if you don’t look out for yourself as a woman utashanga, utanyangwa pesa, nunu hata watoto. Look at Mother in law. She is now old and has never seen her kids bcz her exe husband is a politician in Uganda. He even sold her house. In Africa a woman is at the mercy of men, so before doing anything with any man including brothers, think about if you no longer have the man’s goodwill, what will happen and ensure that you take all precautions to cover your back. You saw the Rwandan woman on Tuko. Those are typical Kenyan men. They want to leave you penniless, childless and hopeless. So if you don’t cover your back ruthlessly, shauri yako, you will end up in depression and even death. Which is their happiness to have destroyed your life.

8

She does sound like she is on the brink. Really appealing for help. Her family does not seem to be involved maybe coz she was doing the ‘manly’ duties earlier on in the relationship such as accommodating him, paying his tuition which they did not approve. My thoughts.
I have always maintained that if a woman is to embark on a marriage please have your own income, education and vet this men seriously. That cannot be achieved in your teens.

9

I can’t imagine being a chick in campus and paying fees for your boyfriend while your classmates are rolling with sponyo. Men say they want ride or die chicks but see how they treat them. Which man will respect you for paying his fees. It’s so desperate. The man knew she had low self esteem when she started paying fees and accommodating him. No matter how beautiful and hardworking you are no man will respect you for being his parent. Men want to earn everything. I saw this dynamic in a relative. He would really abuse his ride or die gf. Jamaa wasn’t buying even salt in the house. After getting her pg and dumping her. He married a jobless chick. Got her a job. Pays for everything. The very same man. Men can be very cruel when you decide to help them. The more you help the more the contempt. Men don’t need women’s help. They want to make their own way. I was told that the fastest way to get a man to lose any love he has for you is to start paying rent and taking loans. I was told that by a man. I thought I had heard it all. Until I saw ati paying fees. And the guy taking loans via her phone. She should have gotten that guy assisinated. How do you even get an offspring of such a man. This is a thief. Who needs Hessy to finish him off. Jambazi sugu stealing loans from a woman’s phone. This story has made me very annoyed. The way I am busy blocking these people on my phone kuna watu wengine wanalipa fees. Tena it’s not even a benten it’s your fellow student.You went to school to pay fees for men? Surely women are their own worst enemy.

10

Preach Sista preach. Hii thread nilitumia wamama wenzangu hapa. Hawa ndio wanatumiwa sasawa… mnajenga kwa hikyo kimtu then he tokas you like a nonsense and takes on a MwK.

11

The bad thing about women is that curse in the garden of Eden. Even if you show them all the evidence, the very next day a man will manipulate them to take loans for them. Anyway experience is the best teacher after getting carried away by emotions to take loans as if it’s love that will pay the loan for you. Being a weak minded woman is worse than being a drug addict. The world is a dangerous place for a woman who is driven by emotions. In the animal kingdom the prey or weaker species always have a strong defense mechanism to make up for their weakness as a prey. Wacha tuu wachukue loans for temporary pleasure of sweet nothings, they will pay dearly for the short lived feigned affections of money hungry man who needs a weak woman to con.