What is the point of having a husband?

Women who are not married assume that married women have their backs covered by their husbands. They don’t have to go to garage like single women. They don’t even have to think about buying, selling and maintaining cars.

I am slowly realizing that even modern couples, women still pay their own insurance. They have to figure out how to maintain their cars. They still have to look for buyers. Yaani basically they don’t get help from the so called husband even in doing house repairs. It’s the woman who is looking for electricians and plumbers even painters.

Its very shocking to realize that especially among the elite women in society, even finances, fees, house budgets is on them. Husband is more of a ceremonial figure than a functional one. I know a top career woman who is the husband, the house is hers, the kids school fees, the husband uses his money to entertain students who are his girlfriends. We meet from time to time and let me tell you it’s frustrating to be a provider when you are a married woman. It makes you feel unfeminine, uncared for, unprotected. You end up becoming very manly.

Unfortunately chimpanzees have always had a problem of failed manhood. They want to be effeminate. They want to be provided for by women. They are hypergamous. The white man is a total man. He takes care of his woman. He does not work his wife to the bone. What do you bring to the table is not his language.

The white man is supreme. The white man is a real masculine alpha male and that is why when a black woman is married to a white man, a Chinese man or other races of real men, she submits totally, she is the epitome of feminity. She can rest in her feminine, fall back and let the man take care of her. Nothing makes a woman’s femininity blossom like a man who takes care of everything. I have realized that women who are married to black men are a frustrated and bitter lot. Their only happiness in this life is their children.

Black men are who they are, if you end up with one be prepared to be the man and woman of the house, be ready to have a man child who you buy houses and cars and watches and phones for instead of your being the recipient. A beautiful older lady friend confided in me, that she felt wasted by her husband. I encouraged her, he gave you beautiful children and even goes to PTA meetings as you toil in the corporate world. Look at the silver lining.

I was very oblivious of the way men waste their wives bcz I thought that it was baby mommas getting wasted , infact the wives are the most used, abused and wasted people in men’s lives. Afadhali wewe ulikua pumped and dumped and that’s where the being wasted ended , the wife is his beach I mean slave until death or until he decides to dump her. I remember once reading that in marriage is where women really know what or who men are . If they are real men like the whites it’s great but for our dear chimpanzees, mama you are on your own. Lower your expectations of black men otherwise depression, ulcers and high blood pressure is waiting for you.

Before envying someone try walking a mile in their shoes. Married folk are Oscar award winning actors , behind the scenes it’s another story . Anyway ndovu haishindwi na pembe zake. I salute all women with black men, you are everything and everything is you. Btw when a black man is married to a white woman he is even more effeminate than the ones married to black women. That white woman is the head of the home. She is the cash cow. The black man submits to her completely. Wale muko mayuu please do your best to marry or have kids with white men, those considering going it alone you can get white kids and leave the chimpanzee and his inferiority behind .

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Same thing @Yuletapeli preaches on this forum. 100% provides for his wife and I am sure he is as black as they come. So are you trying to imply that you have never seen a black man provide? Did your father provide for your mother?

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Milaya tu ndio anataka reward kutoka kwa mwanaume.. Just saying.
You were born human, with brain and intellect and with hands and legs to work. Mbona mtu mwingine azaliwe akulishe, akulipie vitu…wewe ni wa kazi gani kwa hii dunia?
You claim you are the stronger gender… For what? To exist and be seen and fucked?
CAn you work for things too and if you are wired to get rewarded for F*cks..You is a milaya.

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Of course you know that there is exceptional men like my father who provides even for his siblings children but I’m just saying that I used to assume all men were like him only to discover that most black men have problems providing for their own children if they are not with the mother. Later I continued culture shock of realizing that my married friends were having problems with their cars like me, having problems with plumbers and electricians like me. I thought if you were married automatically your husband provided for your children only to realise that there are women who pay 90% of the bills if not 99%. I was like kumbe I have been living in a bubble of thinking that if I am married no more car troubles. Kumbe tuko pamoja mambo ya Magari na plumbing.

BTW I’m actually better off coz if I ask a guy to help me out, they’re like yes bcz I am single so they understand that I am short handed but if I am married and I go to a man for help it’s like I am embarrassing my husband, it must be that I am having an affair with him bcz people assume that if you are a married woman your man should be sorting out all your problems. So you can’t outrightly ask for help like a single woman.

Me every body will help me bcz they know that I am single. No questions asked and I return the favor with foodstuffs and such. Lakini just imagine a married woman your husband is just there, kila kitu ni wewe. Then when you become aggressive and masculine to survive you will be labeled as lacking in the feminine. For me I’m not manly and aggressive bcz I have learnt how to survive as a single woman. I can go to any city in the world and l will build a support system that will help me survive. I am not raising any man’s children or supporting any men financially so I am a feminine woman. Men take care of me, if it tips abit and I err on that side, I feel destabilised bcz I am not used to that. So I have to come back to my normal which is that men take care of women not the other way around. With my personality I can not survive what I see in most marriages around where the woman does everything. Teaching an old dog new tricks. Siwesmeki.

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If you had a husband ungekua unatombwa vizuri na kulea mitoto sawasawa . Haungekua unabishana na wanaume hapa

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Hehe, you are generalizing. Mujamaa ni mujamaa tu whether ni black or white

If that were true hakungekua na super power like China na third world like Africa. The same virtues or vices you display at family level is what you take into the world

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si ungeweka tu hii summary

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Spawn of a bitter rejected single mother. Dont worry, you heal soon enough

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Wueh! I never knew someone could be this bitter. What sort of trauma gets you to this level? Your rhetoric dead ass makes you sound like a full testicle carrying sword swallower

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Truth is harsh my fren. Most married women I know have ulcers, when I knew them to be single they did not have them. They cry alot about their husbands they are traumatised some sleep with bosses and end up being corporate hoes out of their frustration from their husbands , the only time I cry is when I am praying or watching a sad movie. I can’t count how many times I have found a married woman weeping and sobbing in the washroom . Chimpanzees don’t want to be told the truth. If someone tells you that you are not doing right by your wife then lthey are bitter. If the white man tells chimpanzees that they are shit hole countries you call them racists and neanderthals but you are all running away from your shit hole countries to junguu countries bcz they work to make their countries great.

Its true that I am really traumatised by the things married women confide in me. It has made me bitter with chimpanzees bcz growing up, the men in the estate where I grew up were amazing. They took care of their families to the best of their ability and respected marriage and their wives. I always used to blame married women for degrading themselves to sleeping with bosses and colleagues until I learnt the kind of torture they were going through at the hands of their so called husbands. The stories are heartbreaking and they make you wonder if these men are possessed or how can a normal human being be so cruel to the Mother of their children.

One lady told me that her husband locked their bedroom door from outside and then he goes to screw the maid. Another one was beaten bcz she refused to top up a loan she had taken for him until she miscarriaged. I used to go to kesha with an elderly pointee lady who was my neighbor and the stories she would tell me about her daughters husband and even pastors made me lose faith in men. She simply summarised it as marriage ni mateso.

Yaani I can tell you stories for years but nowadays I no longer blame married women who are promiscuous and who drink or have stress related illnesses like ulcers and high blood pressure. I have compassion for them now. I help where I can. I listen to and encourage them. I have alot of love for them bcz I now understand how much women sacrifice including their dignity and health to sustain their families and for their children to have fathers. I grew up sheltered and thought all men were like my dad and other men in our estate who never came home late or drunk. Only to realise that some men come home in the morning when their wives are leaving for work.

Its painful. It hurts. It’s bitter. It’s traumatizing. It’s horrible. It’s scary. It’s sickening. But what to do? Si ni Maisha? I didn’t know that it was a miracle for a woman to be my age and not have ulcers. This world can be a very dark place. Women are dying prematurely due to stress related ailments. Stress is worse than HIV. It causes cancer and high blood pressure. A married friend of mine who is 10 years younger than me keeps getting growths and cysts and I had to counsel her to get a thick skin otherwise next it would be cancer. She was always crying about inlaws living at her home, the husband beating her and calling her a bad mother when she’d leave her kids to go attend to her sick mother. She was supporting her mom, her nephew with cerebral palsy and her brothers education. Her husband told her that her mother wasn’t his mother so she was not his responsibility. These are moslems. One time I actually thought that moslem guys were more responsible for their family than Christians but I found out the behaviour is the same.

So it’s hard. I can’t tell them to leave. I can’t tell them I don’t want to hear about their problems bcz what are friends for. I can just be their pillar.

Its always been a patriarchal thing to silence women by using shaming language and victim shaming and blaming. You are so bitter. Who hurt you. Which trauma made you so bitter. Why were you raped? What were you wearing? Why were you alone with a man? You know the schpeel. You can say anything you want about me. Your opinion of me only matters if it will affect my life financially. If it doesn’t its of no consequence. You can oscillate between calling me a hoe who needs deck, a hag, a sheboon, bitter, traumatised, a broken woman, I will just block you and your toxicity in your dark room in pipeline. Sleep my 8 hours. Cook and eat delicious meals. Travel. Eat. Pray. Use scientific advances to achieve posterity. Love those who truly love me. Give the love I’d have given a useless abusive toxic chimpanzee in the name of a husband to my blood family. Invest in them. Be there for them. Listen to sermons and love God more. Live an honorable life. Become a better person. Grow from my mistakes. Spoil myself rotten. Shop to death. Nothing as sweet as having a stress free life. Mimi mambo ya kuteseka juu ya mwanaume I told God the day I stop loving myself to normalise and accept being treated poorly and suffering in relationships as a normal way of life, take me home, I have completed my work on earth. Living in Kenya is enough sufferation staki kukufa na ulcers na high blood pressure. I will die peacefully in my sleep. I don’t need to enrich money hungry doctors bcz of stress that a man who does not feed or house me is giving me. My dad is the only man who can give me a hard time and I still love him bcz he gave me 50% of my DNA. Nyinyi wengine kila mtu apambane na Maisha yakee akiwa kwake. I’m too old to be unhappy over useless people who are of no consequence and add no value in my life.

Otherwise nimekublock. This year I am not arguing with people. You talk shit to me. I simply block you. So I guess this is goodbye. I am avoiding toxicity.

Before unipatie ulcers ni wewe utakufa. I’m not ready for Lang’ata women’s so lemme keep off chimpanzees. Mtu kama hunilishi upuzi pelekea mamako. Tuko pamoja? I’m too old for bullshitplplppl

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