Water Company Bills Me Just For Having Faucets

Katch rarely had water problems .Occasionally the Water Company would go into an arm wrestle with Kenya Power over unpaid electricity bills. We’d miss water for a week or two. Nothing on the scale of Nairobians. All problems would eventually be solved and a constant supply of water would resume.

One thing they always did – these water guys – was, like clockwork, read your meter every month and provide you with the correct bill.

Along came a company called Spencon (I think), bought the whole water supply outfit from the Govt. They did their audits, fired a bunch of people – one committed suicide…whatever. Our water supply was disrupted for about a month while they laid down these yuuuge pipes and we thought they were gonna make Katch great again. Katch water supply now comes from some alien land, not the Isiukhu River. And it’s amazing because, apparently, half the work is done by gravity.

The first people to be fired were the meter reading minions. So now these moist ass negros just sit in their comfy offices doing nothing but estimating peoples bills based on their previous readings. And I got used to it, you know. If I stayed away for a month I’d still get my water bill… ghosts take that opportunity to use my water supply.

Another problem is that we now have water for only about an hour or two a day or two. If you miss your chance to fill up, well too bad. Sucks to be you. You lost, thanks for playing. Let’s try again in a day or two, shall we?

This month this friend dude of mine got a huge bill. Upped from KES. 300 to KES. 900. I was like “Yo, Friend Dude. This is insane. You have to complain. They’re testing to see if you are a sucker man.”

I got my bill the very next day. It had magically risen from around KES. 400 to KES. 1,900. I went to Water Office the following day. I met this dude there.

“This can’t be right. I don’t even spend much time here. Unless I started a car wash business or I now give elephants baths there’s no way I’d use this much water. Even if I left the taps running non-stop it would not get to this because the taps are dry ninety per cent of the time!” I said.

The dude was like: “Hey, don’t even worry about it. Mistakes happen. We’ll send someone right over to read your meter. We’ll get you a new bill. Would you like some tea?”

That went well. I had a speech prepared and all but OK. It’s all good.

Three days later I got a new bill: KES. 3,163. MOTHERF…!

So I call up my friend.

“Hey, did you complain about your bill? Did you get it fixed?”

“Yea I did. They raised it to 1,400. Thanks for pushing me to complain, you whiny bastard.”

I feel like this company is now molesting me… touching me in places that make me feel uncomfortable. I still haven’t paid my bill. Am waiting for them to disconnect my supply. I’ll survive on nothing but dew, sugarcane and my intestinal fortitude.


It’s a terrible waste!

Is this hekaya ama real story ? Just pedestrian asking

Kujia hii kesho usort hizo ofisi zao…


Real. This here is God’s truth.

:D:D:D:D:D even if it were a beautiful girl touching you there (pocket), it still would have felt like she is molesting you.

My opinion, I don’t know how they arrived at the first bill, but the second came after reading your meter, they must have realised they were undercharging you for the months they estimated, sasa the extra volume that wasn’t billed for those months is being billed one off

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:D:D:D:D:Dpole brathee itabidi wa introduce tokens za maji sasa

Hot damn!

If you’re able to, invest in a borehole asap. In future there will be water wars like you won’t believe. Water will be the new oil; actually it’s already more expensive than oil. Once you’ve come around utalipa hiyo bill and even if they decide to increase the rates you will still pay. Pole

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Bingwa can handle this

Who pays 2.2M for this kind of thinking!!!


I paid 48k for this type of mess. This is after kuhongana, kucomplain and all. My bill consistently did 5 - 6k a month, na I am not always home, I don’t have a wife

Luckily, it was a rented hao. I paid n moved

I doubt you ever made it to class. Ulikazwa na a old mzungu pensioner turned missionary and voila! U speak English

There’s got to be some kind of regulation against this!

katch borehole water is salty

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Bingwa wacha wivu. You’ll die a poor, peniless, childless excuse of a man.

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unakufuru fala hii

only God knows how one dies

…but huyu jamaa huwa mshenzi

same problem here, these guys are fuckin morons. av been having a bill of 2k average a month, last month bill imekam a whooping 20k! gone to their offices n they claim there were anomalies coz the meter reading clown has been recording the wrong meter for 6 months!!!. ati sasa they have the right one with the right a/c no and the others were just estimates…jamaa tells me lakini ukitaka we can readjust readings to kitu 10k if you chuck 5k…oh damn!!!


boss, hivyo ndio niliambiwa. Toa 10k bill irudi zero. Months passed with fake promises. Mwisho nililipa hiyo bill yote tu ju ilikuwa bado inaincrease na 5 or 6k