Wanna Kill yourself

Wanna kill yourself ???
Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over you take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinner’s ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sis/bro won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular boys/girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy/girl that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex girlfriend/boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you… He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, and wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? He/She’s in shock. He/She can’t believe it. She/he knew what you were going through, but she/he never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She/he can’t cry, she/he can’t feel anything. She/he stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl/Boy with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister; you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she/he stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls/Boys have eating disorders now. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just affect you. They affect everyone. Don’t end your life; you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.
Peace out
Seyanga Mwamba Pierre


It’s easy for somebody who doesn’t understand depression to see it that way. It’s reductionist, insensitive and ignorant. The pain one is going through when they decide to take their lives drowns out any of those sensibilities mentioned and the only prerogative left is to get rid of it using the simplest and most sure way.

And people don’t kill themselves because they’ve lost their jobs or their children or because they are ugly. That’s also reductionist and ignorant

acha ujanja. deni ya china tunalipa sisi wote

midterm should be banned aki ya nani.too many school toddlers running around


We will all die someday

Hapo umejidanganya sana. Umeona sinema za wazungu sana.The minute they put you in the ground, you’ll be ancient history bwana. You’ll be the coward that took the easy way out.

Once your parents get rid of your belongings, my fren… na kuzaliwe kengine…

Watalia kidogo, then become angry at you. Then slowly forget you.

Then of course there’s the odd chance you don’t die. Or change your mind midstream and decide you want to live.

Now every time you have a fight or disagreement you’ll be reminded, “Na usiende kujiua, mshenzi wewe! Hebu ondoeni hizo piriton kwa room yake!”

OR, in a very bitter dispute, you’ll be told,

“Tumia kamba ndio usirudi tena. Usifikirie utakimbishwa spitali tena nugu hii! My money will not be used by rescue idiots again, never ever!”

Cheza na waafrika.

True story.
My uncle once threatened to commit suicide while drunk during a family gathering. In my enlightened stupidity I went and got him a rope and told him he was delaying matanga.
Those two actions divided the family in the middle…
Following day my uncle was like you mean you wouldn’t mind me dead,told him people do not threaten to commit suicide. The do and let others find the dead.
My uncle fears me to date. Akilewa ananiepukanga kama uji moto.

just do it swali mingi za nini???


I will mend myself before it gets me…