So CS Mutahi the man of the hour says domestic violence has gone up bcz of economic hardships men are facing thanks to Corona virus.
Now for me the last time someone hit me was when I was in lower primary and that was likely my mom, not a teacher, because we were given punishment, same to high school, we were given punishment, so this thing of people hitting each other is very foreign to me.
What does it really say about you when you slap somebody. Or ngumi. Or spit on them. It’s a sign that you are powerless and you now have to become physical. Use physical strength to get what you want.
This is the truth guys and gals if you are in a relationship and you are so powerless and frustrated that you have to resort to being abusive to get what you want then you are incompatible with that person and you need to leave. You don’t need to resort to emotional blackmailing, insults, slaps name it.
If you would never raise your voice at your boss, spit on her, slap her, why would you do it to your spouse, your child, your bf/gf? They give you more than your boss gives you.
There’s always a way to resolve conflicts with out violence and insults. It’s immature to have physical fights and it’s a sign that you are a powerless person. Powerful people do not beat up other people to get their cooperation. If you have to hit someone to get them to do what you want, that’s too bad, you done hit rock bottom and you need to leave. Me I can’t even remember the last time I raised my voice at someone. I can’t. And it’s not like I don’t deal with difficult people. I try to minimize my interactions with such people but alot of times I have no choice but to deal with them and I get my way without insulting and shouting at them or threatening them. There was a time I worked with a guy who everyone hated and couldn’t stand bcz he was arrogant and abrasive and drunk and unruly and we even shared an office. I never once had an altercation with him. He would come in drunk and start shouting like a mad man, and I would leave and come back when his hange wasn’t driving him nuts. You dont have to stoop low to someone else’s level. Keep it classy. With time the guy even changed bcz of how I was behaving. He became calmer, toned down on the drinking, started relating better with colleagues but imagine if I had become like him. Out of emotions I would insult him or whatever.
So guys be the change you want to see in the world. Violence isn’t necessary. Abuse isn’t necessary. By rising above such you can actually help someone who is struggling to become a better, maturer person by how you carry yourself when there’s a conflict. Please go read a book called Non Violent Communication.
Nobody can push you anywhere unless you take the bait. My crazy workmate, everybody was taking the bait, he would chokoza them and they react, thus encouraging his behavior. For me, I would never talk back to him, I would walk out instead or ignore him and keep doing what I was doing. Eventually he realized that he’s not going to control me with his crazy behavior. I am not getting emotionally hooked. So he started changing to become more like me. He could see the difference between him and I. He could see I am on a higher ground and I am not coming down to his level even if we spend 8hrs in close proximity. So eventually I didn’t surrender to his low vibration and negative energy, so he had no choice but to come up to my level if he wanted my cooperation. That’s how it works not the other way around.
So you want to say the government is weak because it is using force to keep the curfew order? Ebu ongea na Mr Ibu umueleze hivyo. That would be a very stupid way of reasoning and only weak ass people reason that way. Mtu akileta ujinga rarua yeye kofi mbili atulie… its for him or her to obey so as to avoid the slaps.
Powerful men do not need to raise a finger to keep anyone in check. Even children. I know men who have never ever beaten or raised their voices at their kids and the guy’s presence in the house is enough for the kids to tow the line.
Slaps, threats, shouting and blows are for weak, powerless men and women. The problem is not the women it’s lack of personal power. The same woman you slap will be very well behaved in the presence of a powerful man. Even kids know power and behave accordingly.
It is weak. If you have to beat people with nyahunyo for them to obey you. How powerful can you say you are? The people of Kenya do not respect the government. Didn’t you see in Malindi people pelting police with stones. Is that power to you?
When you dont give your woman space and you always beside her like a tick (quarantine scenario) madharau ndogo ndogo huanza.And some men especially betamales start panicking when she starts threatening she will leave. End result is violence
A simple abusive word might turn into a tirade if you put up some stupid resistance. A single slap might turn into a thorough beating/beatdown if you put up a weak resistance, or if you allow it. So, women must deal with all forms of abuse by disallowing them. Walk away, and live to tell the story. Fight back and we shall tell your story; and this applies to all genders( include the trans).
Fortify your position with the tools that would enable you to walk away from an abusive relationship , without looking back. The tools include economic empowerment, education, good career, a sense of self worth…name them!
Because the people do not respect them. People respect dependent on relationship and authority. The traffic police has no gun. No nyahunyo and everyone obeys him or her. Why? Because motorists respect the work they do to ease jam or keep traffic flowing. And people want traffic to flow easily, in their own self interest. So they value the relationship and respect it. You need to ask yourself why people in TZ obey government with greater ease and less use of brutal force. Why is that? Because the government has not lost its moral authority and so citizens respect it and follow its edicts with out having to be whipped or brutalized.
Not so . People do not respect the traffic cops but rather fear the consequences ie jail terms or fines when taken to courts. Hii ingine ni story. for me ukiniletea ujiga unajua what will happen its for u to decide kama unaweza kanatamba and we respect each other.