I hate to victim blame because I know what it is like to be a victim. I think all women knows what it is like to be a victim. A victim to a husband, to a fiancee, to a boyfriend, to a male friend, to a plumber, to a mechanic name it.
The truth is that in our society people feel alot of things for a victim but respect isn’t one. Normally as humans we like to think that the world is generally a safe place and if you stick to your lane then you can never be a victim. That’s why when your kid or wife is kidnapped you will be the first suspect. Victim blaming is how people make sense of tragedy. By the way this happens to men too. Remember the pilot whose car stalled at a roundabout and he was murdered? One leader asked what the man was doing out at 3am.
Now ladies I would like to have a word with you about how this world works. Our society is a patriarchal society meaning men have more rights and privileges than women. The moment you realize that you will watch your back. Number 2 men are not your friends. Men are conditioned to prey on you. On your vulnerability, your physical weakness, your idealistic and trusting nature. How do I know that? Well go check on any pyramid scheme, women are the majority and the pyramids belong to men.
Of course even the worst of men has a good side and the best have a bad side. Unfortunately the programming for men is to take advantage, to use women, to abuse women, to dehumanise women, to objectify women so as to feel superior and on and on. Now there are a few men who will not take advantage of a woman unfortunately they do not come with stickers. So you don’t want to be in a situation to find out because especially if you are assaulted sexually, it may scar you for life. So no man is worth taking a risk to find out.
There’s an experiment called Satan effect where even good people can turn bad and cruel if whatever evil is nomalised and even championed. This is what happened in Nazi Germany and during Rwanda genocide. Good people like you and I were brainwashed to see bad things like killing even innocent children as something patriotic and good.
My point in all these stories is that as a woman you should never and I mean never allow yourself or put yourself in a situation where you have to rely on a man’s goodwill. You are a woman. You are vulnerable. The same way you would never expose a child to anyone or anything that may harm them is the same way you should never expose yourself to unnecessary or avoidable danger. You won’t just hand over your child to someone you met 2 days ago, assuming that they do not pose any danger. And if you do and it ends badly instead of people feeling sorry for you for losing your child they will blame you. What kind of mother leaves her children with a stranger.
So to avoid all these problems always have the mindset that men are Predators and they are always looking for your weaknesses to exploit them. Avoid night dates and never ever drink on dates with men. Never be alone with a man anywhere. Never travel out of town alone with a man, even if you have your own money and plan on sleeping in separate rooms. Never go to house parties with alcohol unless it’s your relatives house and even then avoid drinking and drugs. You don’t have to be high to have a nice time. If you want to get high. Do it in your house or on a sleep over with your girls.
Its very sad that this thing of women being taken advantage of by men is never taken seriously by women. You hear what happened to this young lady and you go ahead and do the exact thing. Magical thinking that it can never happen to you. Before Nungari there was Kemunto who was gangrapped, before that was the UON girl who went to a party with her bf died of rape and alcohol poisoning. Yaani this stories of date rape and alcohol and even death are so rampant, I doubt any woman over 16 can say that they haven’t heard such a story.
There’s no point in going out with a man and then it ends in heartbreak after you are raped and or murdered. Afadhali ukae kwako ule omena. Currently I am a home body not bcz I don’t like going out but because no outing is worth risking my life during a pandemic. In the same way, no man, no matter how wealthy or handsome is worth getting raped over and no outing is worth losing your life over. You had rather be paranoid like me and avoid all these drama, than be out there, having a good time only for it to end in tears.
I am much older than most of you and I can tell you that staying with out men and dates will not kill you. You can have safe, clean fun with out risking your life. You don’t have to pick up a man to have a good time. Btw nowadays men have become so negative towards women that as a woman you are rarely safe. It’s like they have a vendetta. So to avoid getting caught up in mgtow and red peels, incel vendetta with women just avoid these people especially if your not comfortable. If your gut tells you that you are not safe excuse yourself and leave. Better safe than sorry or dead.
Nowadays things are not what they were when I was growing up. Predators are everywhere. So let’s avoid anything that can bring us problems coz maji yakimwagika hatazoleki. Be proactive in protecting yourself from the predatory nature of men. Always think the worst until the man proves otherwise coz our problem as women is that we are very quick to trust people. No wonder Satan approached Eve coz he knew hapa ni mteremko. This world is very dangerous if you behave like a child trusting all and sundry. Even kids have more stranger danger sense than women to be honest. Hata kama ni mapenzi ama ni raha, put your personal security first. As Unye once Said, your security begins with you.
Anyway I am sorry for the family. It’s not easy to educate someone to uni then they die such a horrible death. May God comfort them.