@Uwesmake , is that you?

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This is a disgusting tale Don’t read if you are holy than thou

I have got to a point where my life is so much messed up to a point of being meaningless. Born almost 40 yrs ago, I was brought up like every normal child, went to the usual schools, was number one throughout primary, performed well to join university for a BSc. Got employed. But that is where my normality ends. I got hooked up with a girl in uni and we settled together shortly after we graduated. Two kids later, we were fighting almost every day and one morning, I just woke up, went to work and never returned home.

I got a singo room and a mattress and started life afresh. Didn’t even carry my certificates. I have never returned to them or heard about them ever since. My daughter should be going to class 5 if am not wrong. Not sure about my son.

After leaving my family, I started prostituting with a barmaid named Cate (she later died of AIDS). She even moved in, and just like any normal man, we started hitting it raw. For some unknown reason, she didnt infect me. Mwishowe, tukakosana and she moved out and later died.

I attended her funeral and I could see people looking at me with pitiful eyes. Then came in my former househelp. Alifutwa job na my former wife, and she was helpless. A few months later, she was pregnant and I kicked her out. Lakini alienda na my laptop and some 8K meant for rent.

Sijui kama alizaa. I changed lines na nikahamia Mathare north, so we have never communicated. Then came a certain barmaid whose name and face i cant remember. She used to work in a keg joint. She was living with a sister sharing a bed too.

same bed the sis is sleeping. One time, I ferked the sis (we were all drunk). Asubuhi, akajua. usitake kuona vita ya watu watatu against one another. Tukakosana. After some dryspell, some local nijja at a certain pub promised me he would give me a girl for the night.

He knew my place so nikamshow wewe leta msichana nitakubuyia kegs mbili. She came, but was approx 18yrs old. Ok, nilimfanya shoti moja (kavu) but before I could pour the second one, I heard a commotion outside. Guys were saying kuna mtu anaharibu mtoto kwa hio ploti yetu.

Mimi huyo nikajua kumeumana. Somehow, I managed to sneak through the crowd unnoticed (kama vile yesu alifanya). I never returned to that plot. Nikaskia chifu ananitafuta, so I moved to mathare hospital. Not as a patient, but a tenant in one of the doctor’s SQ.

Life there wasnt any dramatic, except that i came home one evening and found my huse swept clean. kuuliza neighbors wakanishow it was that woman i had brought home a week earlier. The woman was my mum’s age, and we had met hapo kwa entrance ya hospital as i was coming from work.

She told me that wako na patient huko but she had paid all the money she had and was stranded. the fisi in me invited her to my place where we ferked till morning. Nikampea 200 aende kwao embu. Riakanau was still operating then, so 200 ilikua mob. I think she was a con from slums

After kusafishwa kila kitu kwa nyumba, nikahamia Komarock to start the next chapter in my life. Maisha komarock ilikua sawa coz you could chota a mbich from kayole any time. I had no permanent girl and therefore any could do. Unfortunately,

I had lost meaning in life that despite my 55K salo (back in 2011), I still used to prefer drinking in dingy joints huko Kioi, and ferk the women from those joints. At one point, niliambukizwa ugonjwa fulani. Sijawai jua ilikua ipi,

I treated it by dipping my mjuols in a cup with concentrated dettol solution. After two weeks of faithfully doing this, i was ok, yaani i no longer had pain when urinating. I moved to Pangani, vowed to stop dry-frying random chicks, and even got myself a nice girl alikua mboch

One chnristmas season, she was travelling home huko western and she asked me to escort her and pay her fare, which i had no problem. Tukaingia matatu, tukashuka town BS, there was that supermarket hapo opposite, tukaingia for some shopping, etc.

The mbich alinibore coz she took so much stuff and filled a trolley, ati nitalipa. Tukaenda tukapanga line ya cashier. Three peopl away from being served, i excused myself ati nimesahau kuchukua maji.

That was the last time she saw me. nikaenda shags and by the time she was coming back in january (if she came), i had moved to kinoo. This was in 2012. To be continued.

:D:D:D:D, that’s a wrap!

Maliza hekaya jirani

That’s a one warped guy:eek::eek::eek:

not my hekaya…copy paste

Auuuuuuiii

hii hekaya si Shemale Aviator alipost hapa some years ago? cc librarian @Ice_Cube

Mama saitan was a crazy one.

Hekaya ya aviator he used to post good stuff.

Hii ni kama nimesoma mahali lakini weka part2 kama iko

Kuja nikupe dicklofenac injection.

Continuation…

What I would like to let you know is that all along, my family thought that I am doing very well in Nairobi. Except for that small matter ya kukosana na wife.So, nikienda home, I used to carry some substantial shopping, mng’aro ni latest design, no alcohol when in shags, etc. I was a role model to many people in the village.
So, in Jan 2013, I moved to kinoo (a very decent house), got a new set of clothing, etc. I had decided to change my life. A new start. Those familiar with the area know a place called Muthiga just before you get to Regen. Back then, there was only one pub called Waziris. Not sure it still exists. In that pub, there was a barmaid called Nyambura. She became my girlfriend. Never mind that she was married to a guy from the same plot I was living in. We ferked for some time until they moved to Zimmerman after which I took a big brown beautiful lazy woman called Wairimu (She is a kamba called Mueni, but prefers to be called Wairimu). She used to do nothing, but her house was smart, well equipped, etc. She was once a barmaid in Westie and had landed a Mzungu. She was also once a barmaid at “Nameless” pub pale ukienda kikuyu. I think she stole from the mzungu and had enough money to last a lifetime. So her work was just to stay in the house and ferk. By then, I had swore never to drink in cheap joints, had even upgraded my circle of friends to include the who-is-who in Kinoo/Muthiga. I had also got promoted at work and was earning 120K per month. Life was good, but I had bought zero asset and had zero savings. I took a loan of 480K from KCB (secured by my employer, paying 18K monthly) and bought a car so as to fit in the new group of friends. But my obsession with cheap women still continued. Apart from Wairimu, there was also the lady who used to wash clothes for us (Can’t remember her name) but at some point aliniambukiza wadudu wengine walinisumbua sana kwa makagary. There was also a barmaid at Waziris called Njeri who would warm my bed when Wairimu was looking the other side. And also an old barmaid called (cant remember) but nowadays she sells clothes around the same place. In short, me and barmaids were inseparable. I was ferking all of them, and before you ask the question, yes, it was DF after the third encounter.
In June 2013, I convinced a new workmate that I loved her and she moved in. I was determined to be the best husband, but the cheap women were too tempting. For example, a new girl called Carol was employed at Waziris and I had to ferk her. Kidogo kidogo my wife got pregnant and soon I was a farther. I even went to visit the inlaws with my clan for officiating the union. Mum was finally happy. A boy was born early 2014, Malaya wakaendelea kuongezeka kwa maisha yangu and my wife became boring and monotonous since she was feeling that I am being wasteful. I had managed to convince her to seek a job elsewhere since she was starting to get rumours of my earlier relationship from her colleagues. So we were no longer workmates. Mimi huyo siku moja nikaskia nimeboeka sana hio jioni sikurundi home. I spent the night with Wirimu downing beers in Kinoo hapo Gathamaro, later to her house in Muthiga. Kesho yake sato, I went home asubuhi, nikapigwa msomo and thus decided to do what I know best- I ran away and got a bedsitter in kasarani. I also changed my phone number and started afresh. Wife akanitafuta mpaka akakuja kwa job. Don’t want to know the drama that followed. Remember alikua anajulikana and thus it was easy to convince HR to attach my salary. I was called to the HR office and decided huko siendi. I just started my car and went home.
And that is how I found myself jobless in 2015, without a family and without my pride. I sold my car and started a shylock business in kasarani. Meanwhile, the cheap mbiches were still my favourite. There was Stacy huko Uncle Jims, Pauline pale Progressive, Another Pauline pale Vantage, Jane huko Robitz, Alice huko pop-inn, Akinyi pia wa pop-inn, kadogo wa Parkar, Regina wa Pop-Inn, etc. Generally every pub in kasarani I had one or two mbiches. I just couldn’t see a barmaid and resist dipping it into her. And yes, DF after the third encounter.
Remember that small matter of a loan I had taken to buy the car? As expected, I defaulted and as we speak, I am blacklisted at CRB on multiple accounts because I also stopped paying HELB and also took a loan from Airtel Money (those niggas gave me a loan of 1K after using the line for two weeks. Nikatupa line and chewed the sim card. I also stopped going to shags coz of the many questions from Mum regarding my family (whom I have no idea how they are doing, but am told wife alizaa kasichana and named her after my mum). I last went home in May 2015, despite the place being 50b0b from town offpeak. Biashara ya shylock, just like with other illegal businesses haikulast long coz I once took several laptops as security. Kumbe they were stolen from a house huko Ngong and their owner murdered. The little money I had was spent buying my freedom and that is how November 2016 found me free but jobless, ashamed, hopeless, broke, everything negative, and without certificates. Thank gods for the many mbiches because they have been accommodating me when the landlord locks my house over rent arrears.
Now, good people of this village, mtu kama mimi anaweza anzia wapi maisha? Is there hope ama all is lost? I wonder how an intelligent guy like me ended up kuchengwa na maisha hivi. FYI, I never keep tabs with my classmates coz most of them are senior guys in the government or elsewhere. Several are Director generals of parastatals, but am too ashamed to even go to them for assistance. Sometimes, I wish a natural disaster or something like civil war can affect our country and devastate everyone so that nyote mkue kama mimi. I am too scared to attempt suicide, so till death comes knocking, I shall remain hopeless. I tried getting saved, and even got prayed for hapo Overcomers church, lakini hio jioni nikapitia kajiji hapo kasarani, took two glasses and later ferked that ugly Esther who sells changaa hapo kwa hio den. I think some of us are created as a warning to others on how not to live life. Alafu mod fulani hapa bado ananisumbua

https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/the-mess-that-is-my-life.42472/

Waaah…this is so messed up…looks like I missed it

Lakini hio ya shopping imefanya nicheke!:smiley: Slay queen ilibidi arudishe kile kitu

I’ve just read the whole thing. Waah, is @aviator still alive? I hope alipata usaidizi.

i have read some where that it’s even fiction…duh

Very live and kicking alikuwa anapima talkers akili.

The only funny sentence hapo ni the idea of becoming a FARTHER…very funny

Pole sana bro. Please seek a counsellor. Abandon sexual addiction and cheap women who demean you.

All will be well.

kuna jamaa mmoja Twitter who has made a career of stealing KTalk hekayas and posting them there as his own.

CSI priss mulika huyu mtu.

@iamSwavey21 najua unasoma hii thread. wewe ni umbwa ghasia takataka

[MEDIA=twitter]1046396640138022912[/MEDIA]

https://twitter.com/iamSwavey21

[ATTACH=full]197471[/ATTACH]

  1. Original hekaya:
    https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/the-lame-shall-walk-or-run.49506/

Stolen hekaya:

[MEDIA=twitter]1040545549831811072[/MEDIA]

  1. Original hekaya:
    https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/forty-days-za-hustler.36205/

Stolen hekaya:

[MEDIA=twitter]1043452433970745344[/MEDIA]

  1. Original Hekaya:
    https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/fencing-allover-town.45341/

Stolen hekaya:

[MEDIA=twitter]1042364910712311808[/MEDIA]

  1. Original hekaya:
    https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/a-deadly-love-triangle.35520/

Stolen hekaya:

[MEDIA=twitter]1042796351585742849[/MEDIA]

  1. Original hekaya
    https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/the-train-mutura-and-preggo-pt1.45015/

Stolen hekaya:
[MEDIA=twitter]988654969871007744[/MEDIA]

… and many more

Wacha tuende huko tukojolee .