UFISI NI MBAYA KUNA TIME NILIKUWA NIMEINGIZA MADEM WATATU BOX , wa kwanza tukakutana tukakunywa pombe hapo Tribeka , nikaambiwa hao wengine niko kwa jam , dem akaniambia amelewa twende kwangu nikajifanya gentleman nikamwambia nimpeleke home arelax tuonane kesho , nikamchukulia taxi akaenda home . mimi huyo nikakimbilia dem wa pili silk nikampata anakunywa guarana , mahugs loveydovey tukakunywa pole pole stories mingi . wa tatu tuliagree tumeet saa nne . so mimi huyo na wa pili makiss kwa table DJ Trim anacheza malocals nikaanza kulewa , dem ashaingia box . bibi anapiga simu nikaweka silent. by ten dem ako wasted huyo mimi uncle Uwes nikamwambia as a gentleman nimchukulie taxi aende home akasema anataka kulala kwangu since ni late huko karen Simba zinatembea usiku . nikamshow najuana na Area comandant wa KWS ntampigia simu afukuze mpaka mafisi . my plan was nikamue the third girl coz alikuwa msapere momo myellow ako na figure fiam . nikaconvince dem achukue Taxi nikalipa . taxi damage 5000 . sawa haina waaas hio ni kama kuwacha stock kwa bar . mimmi huyo uncle uwes nika prance out of Sylk nakupigia shiko simu , " niaje shiko my love uko wapi ?( hii line ya my love combined na bass yangu makes ladies go mellow) , "niko hapa Ambassador come unipick "
chap chap i almost fell down on some hawkers dildos . " kijana usilete ujinga hapa " blurted the hawker , adrenaline was still going through me after shikos sweet voice and dryfry on the yellow skin anticipation . " boss unajua kimbo slice ni nani ? , ntakufungua superman punch hata mjukuu wako mwenye hajazaliwa apige nduru huko mahali ako " said Uncle Uwes hawker akakunja mkia but since my X6!!! was parked a meter away i knew kukiwa kubaya ill just pull out my .357 magnum hidden in the vehicle and do what kideros boys do to hawkers . anyway back to the main story . nikaangalia kuspin x6 mpaka ambasador ita take time so mimi huyo uncle Uwes pulled an Asafa Powel mpaka hapo stage .
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! dem alikuwa ameva a short yellow dress complimenting her momocurves and colour . the tongue tied Uwes gathered all his courage aas the DRYFRY CHAIMAN i took the ROCK pose and confronted the Gazelle , " my dear imagine nimekimbia kama kemboi akiona finish line vile hiyo sauti tamu imelick earbuds zangu hata nikasahau x6!!! yangu huko juu " " kikiki " the lady purred " aki uncle Uwes unapenda kunienjoy " . sawa mimi Uncle Uwes my hands firmly on the catchs shoulder started strolling back to sylk as i carefully looked arounf for all lurking fisis (kumbukeni niko .357 magnum kwa gari ) story za ufala polepole tukafika nje ya sylk . " HIZO DILDO UNAUZA HOW MUCH" the gazelle blushed and tucked her head on my chest , " zinarange from 2,000 to 10,000 " the mungiki answered shining his eyes at me . " sawa nikikufa bibi yangu atakuja umuuzie " i drunkenly answered as i climbed the stairs passerbys wakalipuka . Mungich akaconsider kunikujia but akaona Batistauwes akaogopa . hapo hapo juu tukakaa na dem " i take waiiin " . " waiter leta chupa ya whine na gilbeys mzinga " " hatuna mzinga " " leta half basi " .
After around two hours bibi amepiga simu 50 missed calls nikarusha text ," baba Bergkamp ako hospitali ndio tunamgojea " , kidogokidogo dem ako tipsy but nikimdara anatoa mkono nikakuwa patient . story za upus upus upus sijui Justin bieber sijui larevancha sijui ihenacho sijui ibrahimovich sijui britney spears sijui mourinho nikajifanya expert wa ma soap opera picha ya thighs za yellow na coomer imejichora kwa akili yangu as the target . by saa nane " uncle Uwes inatakikana niende home by saa tisa " , WTF AMADIOHA SAITAN LUCIFER BELZEBUB NYANGAU rung through my mind yaani dem ako serious anataka kuenda home na nimeacha coomer mbili for her hapa ata ule grandchild wangu mwenye hajazaliwapahali ako alipiga nduru . i switched to Gilbeys mode " my love relax usiwe na waaas utalala kwa guest bedroom " ( cave iko na bedroom moja hio guest bedroom sijui ni gani) " apana niko na exams monday lazima nisomee " " my dear kuna library nje ya nyumba ntakuchukulia vitabu asubuhi na mapema usome si unaona saa hii ni saa nane na huko kileleshwa hata machui zinaweza kuwa zinatembea " " apana ntakuja after exams turelax " . nikacatch feelings nikajua hapa hii ni mawe najaribu kutoa maji , gilbeys ika kick in vizuri nikachange mood na kuenda silent . upus upus sijui ndereba sijui safaricom sijui @FieldMarshal CouchP Uncle uwes ako tu mum expertise yangu iliishia after nitakuja after exams . " babe umejam " " sijajam ni vile tu wewe ni mchoyo " "Bae napromise ntakam after exams " nikadouble catch , Yaani ngombe badala iseme itakam kesho ati after exams , exams tumefanya mpaka ya PHD sasa CAT ya upus ndio nanyimiwa coomer ,nnnkkkt. " sawa maliza twende " at this point nikajiambia hata bibi yangu is cuter than hii nyangau . so we left kufika hapo chini gilbeys zikaniambia , UNCLE UWES NYOKA INAKUNYWAJE POMBE NA KUKUNYIMA COOMER INGIA KWA X6 UIWACHE HAPO HATA FISI KAMA @rollout APATE ALIPE TAXI AFTER ALL UMELIPA TAXI MBILI ALREADY , my conscience told me that would be too savage . but me and my Gilbeys stupor thought otherwise , " madam hebu nnichukue kitu kwa gari (from my love to madam ) " i got into the vehicle reversed and swooosh x6!!! ikaanza kunipeleka to my sweet lovely wife . nikaacha nyoka ikishine eyes na the dildo selling hawker .
MORAL OF THE STORY :
BETTER THE UGALI AT HAND THAN THE UGALI @Mundu Mulosi HOUSE , NILIACHA NYOKA MBILI NIKAAMBULIA PATUPU NA DAMAGES ON ME .
MADEM MUKUWE NA HESHMA YAANI NIMENUNUA WAIIIIN MZINGA HALAFU UNAJIFANYA NA COOMER NA SI SABUNI HAIISHI , NGOMBE NYINYI NKT WACHA NIENDE NIKUNYWE GILBEYS
