Tweeps to follow in Kenya

I suppose most of you MFs and MILFs have Twitter accounts and most of you who log in daily are addicted like myself. Have you ever wondered which people you should follow on Twitter and for what purpose? Let me tell you now:

Miguna Miguna - Politics and comic relief and basically everything. He’s Mr. Know It All
Donald Kipkorir aka Sonko Malong - Slay queen lawyer and flossing idiot. Opportunistic AF
William Ruto - Why the hell, because we have nothing better to do than to read tweets from his PR and propaganda team.
*David Ndii - Economics. A distinguished economist but also arrogant AF. They say it’s not arrogance if you can back it up.
*Mohamed Welihye - Top economist Chelsea diehard and funny guy
Alfred Mutua - For all your false development records about Machakos County.
Chinks - An analyst of the females with humour in plenty
Ahmednasir Abdulahi - I have no idea why but he knows how to post links
Kipchumba Murkomen - To know what Ruto is thinking
Raila Odinga - Let’s make the senior citizens feel wanted too
NTV/Citizen/K24/KTN - To know what’s hot in the news and have it repeated today, tomorrow and … Also to know which political affiliation the owners of the newsrooms have.
VeryWittyIdiot - That’s my handle and you follow me and you see that I have a wide range of opinions on all important and unimportant things
News anchors: Linda Oguttu - that ass deserves a following. Betty Kyalo - some scandal is never too far. Jeff Koinange - I don’t know why. Larry Madowo - There’s a Luo guy in NY
Artists: King Kaka - We are trying to keep #wajinganyinyi alive.
Boniface Mwangi - Let’s see which idiot has been blocked driving on the wrong side of the road
Chris Kirubi - Ever since beating cancer guy is inspired and maybe he’s no longer banging them young bitches. Also he’s a senior citizen so let him feel wanted.
Jerotich Seii - because KPLC sucks

Meanwhile as we stay grounded because of the covid-19 pandemic, let’s remember to perform the activity that leads to procreation. Covid-19 isivuke na wewe na hata hauna mtoto wa nje. Katambe katambe. Kazi kwenyu

Mbona sijaona yule mama Bel Akinyi

Below Akinyi, Robert Alai, Cyprian Nyakundi et al are bloggers that you can follow for unbroken news, political mud slinging etc as you deem fit. My list is not exhaustive FYI.

We have better things to do with our lives.

Pia Rozie nduta (stripper wa Tony Gachoka)


I have never been impressed by Twitter. Initially it used to be a forum where substance and merit thrived but when every Tom ,Dick and Harry signed up, Facebook appears more sensible and mature.

Not subscribing to it ANYTIME SOON. We wait for Maikomayas alete uhondo hia. As for FB who goes there other than for bizna…???

Kama haina tits n pucci mimi hapantambua