He made a small, careless racially biased remark, thinking it was trivial. But now the fallout is enormous—admitting it would unravel the persona he’s spent years building. Cognitive dissonance grips him: he wants to see himself as moral, yet his actions contradict that self-image. Social and reputational stakes amplify the shame, triggering denial, rationalization, and defensiveness.
The minor act, now feels like an existential threat. Because his prejudice is tied to identity, he clings to his facade, resisting truth, even as he knows deep down that he is wrong.
Don’t apologise.
