Trouble Letting Go

Wadau, it is becoming critical.
Some of you may remember I posted in a past thread about the loss of my dear mum. It has been three months and things seem to be getting thicker as we go along.
I was with her throughout her medication since being diagnosed with cancer mid last year. This was the first loss of a nuclear family member I have suffered. On the outside, I seem to have adjusted well to the loss. But deep down, meeen, I am hurting. There are things I just wished I could have told her during her sickness, like how I loved her. The other thing is that I was with her as she took her last breaths. The deathly gaze on her lifeless eyes have been imprinted on my mind. I can’t go for even 1 hour without thinking about it. At times I would dream that we are talking with her. It just doesn’t get to the point that I’d tell her the things I would have loved to… That would at least give me some closure.
I would have loved her to be present during our wedding, which she asked us to postpone until I cleared my Masters. I would have loved to have her wear my graduation gown during my graduation, which would have been towards the end of this year but had to put on hold in order to attend to her.
For those of us who suffered such a kind of loss, is this normal, how did you deal with it?

Sorry for your loss! I’m going through something similar, lost a dear friend 5 months ago! It sucks but I have formed a habit of whispering a short prayer whenever I think about him or share my feelings with them like they are right there with me, e.g “I love you and I miss you”. Tell your mum how you feel. Also mourn her, cry if you must, don’t hold back. I sometimes just breakdown unintentionally

You should practice stoicism. It is a process of controlling your mind. They you feel is based on how you perceive things and thus your mind is controlling you.

As a stoic, I have embraced death. I know have no control over it. I have made peace with it that in my nuclear family, one of us might never see tomorrow.

Train your mind to accept death and that you have no control over it. You will either die fast or your siblings or your parents.

Sorry for your loss. Like @Female Perspective told you cry if you must. Also lost mum slightly over a year, i miss her and just last week i managed to visit her grave the first time since we laid her to rest. Don’t stop thinking about her or crying, time is the best doctor , take heart everything will heal.

Pole Sana bro. May God give you strength and peace

Pole sana broh…

Just go down through the entire grief process Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally acceptance will come last and you will feel some relieve

we are just but only human , pray once in a while , distract yourself sometimes, and find solace in those grieving with you and in that you will find comfort

Thanks a lot about this. I had been quite strong. But of late, it has been unsettling. I appreciate your encouraging messages. I’ll reply to your individual messages as soon as I get home from works.

2012, last day of June, at 7pm, I bid my mum goodnight as I went to rest in my simba. Woke up next day only to her hanging on the rope. Up to now I’ve never been the same. just to mention that word ‘mum’ is the hardest task for my tongue. it’s never easy. If I knew anything about getting over it, I would have told you but I’m also in the same boat.

Pole…take heart, time will lessen the pain

Pole Saana Brother
May God be with you
Always Pray

thts very normal. talk about her with friends and family. read the Bible too, it gives us a hope that one day we will reunite with our loved ones

Be a man buana, fwakini!

Mad man. You are suicidal.