le game only to lose it. This was my first major loss. I decided to stake a higher amount (10,000 bob) in order to win back the money only to lose this one as well.
Since it was a weekday, I chose to wait for the weekend when the games were plenty. On Saturday 19 November 2016, Everton, my favorite team, was playing at home. I was certain they would win so I took the remaining 15k topped it with 5k from my savings and placed a bet on a home win. Unfortunately, the match ended with a draw. I was devastated. Hell bent on recovering the lost money, my betting spiraled out of control.
Betting has affected every aspect of my life, especially my productivity. My job requires that I work most weekends which also happens to be when most of the big matches are played. I often lie to my boss that I’m either unwell or dealing with a family emergency so that I can have ample time to analyze the games and place a bet. Sometimes, I go to work late because I stayed up to 1 am for results on the games I placed bets on.
My love life hasn’t been spared either. I am constantly quarreling with my girlfriend as she thinks the reason I am always on my phone is because I’m flirting with other girls when in fact I am getting notifications of scores. The worst part is that I cannot tell her the truth. She swore to leave me if I didn’t stop betting. As far as she knows I stopped. Many times I take out my frustrations on her after losing a game. It pains me that she always thinks it is her fault we are having issues.

The only time I take a break from gambling is when I’m dead broke. Payday comes and I am back. I have lost countless friends for borrowing only to be unable to pay them back.
I have tried to seek psychological help online on different occasions. However, because online sessions don’t have a personal touch, I find them highly ineffective. There is only one way to stop this for good, which brings me back to the present moment.
I have spent the last two nights at my girlfriend’s place. She thinks it is because I want to spend quality time with her. The truth is I lost my rent money. I tried to recover the money by withdrawing all my savings and placing another bet. I lost. I went ahead and borrowed 25k from my mother earlier today, lying that I needed the money for a project, and again, placed another bet on a major game playing tonight.
I am sick and tired of lying to the people I love. I am tired of the pain I keep causing them. Believe me, I have tried my best to stop but I can’t. The urge is too strong. I must win tonight. If I lose then I am done.
If I die tonight, pass my love to my three precious women. Tell the world my story. Warn them not to go down this path. It is a dark, scary and bottomless pit
PS
This is a true story. Justus* asked me to tell his story so that he can get the help he needs before it’s too late. He is suicidal and desperately in need of someone to help him get over his gambling addiction.
I am tired of reading in the news that yet another young person has taken their life after losing a bet. If you are a psychiatrist or know someone who specializes in treating gambling addiction kindly, reach out to me via [email protected] so I can connect you to this brave gentleman