To pay dowry or not

The African way or the Asian way?

In 1961, India introduced the Dowry prohibition Act.

A few years ago, I was privileged to attend the wedding of a Vietnamese co-worker. Usual wedding paradigm as observed in our modern African weddings. However the gifting part had one difference. Each invited guest slipped an envelop containing money to the bride and groom. I found out there was a format. Friends gave $200-300. Close family friends and immediate family gave $500-$1000. Family members(bro, sis) gave as much as possible. My understanding is that there was no prewedding contributions. At the end of the ceremony, the couple collected about $35K. Which he used $10K to recoup the wedding expenses. The idea of the huge sums is to aid the new family to start a life. Out of $25K balance, he purchased a $7k vehicle (a used Mazda 3), and put $10K down towards a house.


Indian families give the couple gold rings. Pure gold (over 24 Karat) in what they call Stridhan which simply translates passing wealth. The more the gold given the more the honor. In fact families start saving decades in advance to gift. No gold, no wedding.

MGTOW Cavalry Regiment please spectate only.

Imagine paying figures close to millions or more for pre-owned coochie

Dowry is a very serious matter among the Duruma. Very, very serious. Daughters are commodities of commerce. Assets. Objects.

It should be optional. Whatever the family of the bride and groom agree upon, in good faith.

Silipi mahari

Which county do they stay?

They are right here in the Republic of Pwani. Quietly doing their ways without raising any dust.

Kwale or kilifi?

They are found in both counties. They are the ones inhabiting the land along the Mombasa Nairobi highway from Miritini all the way past Makina. Samburu and Kinango are their big towns. Mind you, they are a sizeable population. Currently, Mvurya, the Kwale governor, is probably the most famous politician among them.


Peasant in Chief

Kosa kulipa uone madharau

What is the worst they can do? Usiwai bembeleza in-laws.

In India dowry is paid by the bride not the groom as part of her inheritance.

Instead of being given inheritance later in life the girl is usually given that inheritance as her marriage dowry to go enjoy with her husband and future kids.

Dowry payment in India causes very severe problems in society especially if both bride and groom are poor. It sometimes even leads to murder as either party tries to meet the demands or in a divorce where a man has to return the wealth.

There is a huge difference between dowry and bride price.

Indians practice dowry where the bride pays the groom using her inheritance.

Africans practice bride price where the groom and his family buy the bride.

Some communities practice both dowry and bride price and other forms of purchase e.g dower.

Dowry in India

nota bene- there is a difference between dowry and bride price

Stick to your customs, let the Asians do as Asians do, if you are African, call your uncles and they will explain to you the customs.
In as much as we are our own people with unique lives and crazy ambitions, we don’t live in a vacuum. There is the African society in which we belong to and should be upheld with its customs and mannerisms, or we start loosing our identity.

Wewe lipa mahari kama wanaume wenzako

Mwacha mila ni mtumwa.