Man without a woman is nothing
In our public hospital, I always get my interns laughing whenever I ask them if the male patient is married or not.
See, if you visit the male ward, patients are dishevelled, drooling, in dire straits. They seem to have long given up the fight, even as medics struggle.
In the female wards, ladies are well kempt, clean, and hopeful, notwithstanding their grim diagnoses.
When daughters come to visit their mothers or aunts, they change their clothes, clean them again after nurses have cleaned them, apply oil on their faces, and have them lie well.
For the few men in our medical ward who are married, their wives show up religiously, clean and feed them, and change their clothes and infuse life in them. The same happens to boys when their mothers visit them.
Woe unto the 40, 50 or 60 year olds without wives. As the disease takes a toll on their body, devastation visits them like a hurricane, and the coarse beards and long hair announce their suffering.
In deed, from my anecdotal research, the single most determinant of death in a medical ward is whether the man is married or not.
Mostly, these men are drunkards who threw away their wives, or a few who chose not to marry because of their misery, and instead of joining a monastery, still live as normal men.
We underestimate the role of women in our lives, but we must realize that they actually keep the heart pumping.
Whereas men indulge in ‘big things’ like buying cars, land, paying fees and all that, ladies do what keeps life moving. They clean after us, organize the house, feed us and ensure we sleep soundly.
These roles are actually more important when life is threatened. When malaria takes you down, your car doesn’t come to your rescue.
In my own life, it is my neighbour who keeps reminding me to watch my health.
And, when I’m down with a fever, she massages my forehead, holds the cup for me, and literally holds me the same way she holds our boys when they are sick. It feels heavenly. I can’t say I do exactly the same, though I try. I’m a village man.
Some women may take this a belittling, that they should be competing at the same platform as men.
Well, yes, neighbour is a senior paediatrician and she executes that well, and does the more? important really well.
This morning, I give it up to our women, the real engine where life begins and moves.