This was brutal..

The Zaporozhian Cossacks were a social and military group that by the 10th century settled in southern Russia and present-day Ukraine. The Zaporozhian Cossacks had defeated the Ottoman Sultan, Mehmed IV, at the battlefield. However, he continued to insist that they subdue to his authority and sent them an ultimatum in 1675, in which he put the ultimatum to make them stop attacking his lands and unconditionally surrender to his rule.

The Sultan’s letter goes:

[CENTER]As the Sultan; son of Muhammad; brother of the sun and moon; grandson and viceroy of God; ruler of the kingdoms of Macedonia, Babylon, Jerusalem, Upper and Lower Egypt; emperor of emperors; sovereign of sovereigns; extraordinary knight, never defeated; steadfast guardian of the tomb of Jesus Christ; trustee chosen by God Himself; the hope and comfort of Muslims; confounder and great defender of Christians — I command you, the Zaporogian Cossacks, to submit to me voluntarily and without any resistance, and to desist from troubling me with your attacks.”[/CENTER]

The Cossacks decided not to worry about the received letter and prepared the most brutal sweep in history, in which they parodied and trolled the exalted style of Sultan’s letter.

This was their response.

[CENTER]O sultan, Turkish devil and damned devil’s kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself, Greetings! What the devil kind of knight are you, that can’t slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil excretes, and your army eats. You will not, you son of a bitch, make subjects of Christian sons; we’ve no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck your mother.

You Babylonian scullion, Macedonian wheelwright, brewer of Jerusalem, goat-fucker of Alexandria, swineherd of Greater and Lesser Egypt, pig of Armenia, Podolian thief, catamite of Tartary, hangman of Kamyanets, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig’s snout, mare’s arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw your own mother!

So the Zaporozhians declare, you lowlife. You won’t even be herding pigs for the Christians. Now we’ll conclude, for we don’t know the date and don’t own a calendar; the moon’s in the sky, the year with the Lord, the day’s the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

Koshovyi Otaman Ivan Sirko, with the whole Zaporozhian Host.”[/CENTER]

This is the guy who received that brutal sweep. I am guessing he must have been the dude who came up with the saying “the pen is mightier than the sword”, since generations later, people still make fun of him.



Hio sweep haina comeback banae

Nakwambia… This sting of such insults is bound to render you wordless.

No living mortal can think of anything sassy to counter that sweep.