This is Guka - Idonbilivit. What the Ferking Batshit is This?

So, on Mashujaa day our family decided to throw a bash for my aged matha, who is about 95.

All went well until the after-party at Kamangu Gardens in Ndeiya Ng’ombe, na huko karibu Thigio kwa akina @Wakanyama.

I run out of cash, and the club does not take cards. I have never engaged in Internet banking because I know my profligate spending habits can wipe me out in a weekend.

I called my smallest bro, Njuguna, 46, aside and told him my problem. He was like 'muthee, kwani what century are you living in? You can borrow money on your phone from like 5 different places na tuendelee kukunywa!"

Mimi najua tu Mshwari.

Kijana akaniitisha simu akaanza kubonyeza. Mara ananiuliza pin na ID namba. After like 15 minutes he returned the phone to me, and told me to check the Mpesa balance. Miraculously, it was 6K.

This week the drama began.

Apparently one of the companies my bro borrowed from was something called Branch. He got 2,000 from them.

Every day these guys have been smsing me that I need to pay 576 as first instalment on my loan by today. I have done it but I am extremely angry. This is sheer loansharking. For one, an interest of 76 bob on 500 is an interest rate of 15% per week which even in simple interest works out to be like 600% per year!

But it gets worse. Apparently, unlike Mpesa, the 576 does NOT include transaction fees! Safaricom still deducted another 23 bob from my account, bringing the total cost to me of borrowing Sh500 to Sh99! That’s 25% in a week or over 1,000% in a year!

Now, I know ignorance is no defence, but why is our good gavament allowing this nonsense to take place in our lovely country? Who are these people ripping off Kenyans like this? Who licensed them, and are their rates regulated by the CBK?

Can you imagine when these kind of loans somehow make a nexus with the gambling culture among our youth? It’s gonna be a national disaster!

Mine is cautionary tale. Beware!

Unfortunatley this is how most folks survive, on these mobi loans. Kuna Branch, Tala, KCB Mpesa, KCB Mwenyewe, Mshwari, etc. You dig one hole to fill another. na hapa hujaweka relatives and friends that owe your life.

You are asking the wrong questions. When you walk into a Shylocks office carry with you some lube! When you saw 6k balance where exactly did you think it came from? Your sacco where you can borrow based on your savings?? Some company that you have never interacted with nor even heard of just gave you 6k out of the blue and you were thinking what exactly ?? That you will pay back 6k first thing Monday morning and that’s that??? Welcome to the world of money laundering.


Timiza are willing to give me a loan of 15k just like that. If I take it and run what they gonna do apart from whining to crb?

It is very foolish…extremely foolish to borrow money so that you can get drunk…this is way below the IQ of a mogotio goat


I have told you before and I will tell you again; your affected haughty attitude betrays a deep sense of low esteem. You have very serious psychological issues sir.

And as he aptly points out imagine people borrowing to gamble!

Some of us are foolish like that - putting family first, including buying food for the kids…with what is essentially petty cash…

Yaani unakojolea six k old man ,those are signs of senility.

Then spend the rest of their lives whining about it.

Kijana do this, kwa page yako si kuna ‘ignore’ button? Press it. I will press mine. I cannot stand your stupidity.

Guka isn’t whining about 6k, that’s peanuts to him. He is whinging about how these lenders are dryfrying wananchi with as the govt cheers on.

Early man said he spent the cash on family…nothing beats family so you are yanking his chain for nothing.

These are the interwebs guys - there is always a creep lurking in the shadows waiting to jump you at the earliest opportunity…

Let me ask sir, how many of these outfits are there? I have now heard of Tala, Branch and Timiza. I knew of KCB Mpesa and Mswhari, so that makes it 5. Are there any others? Do they cross-ref with CRB? Are they regulated?

I would love any insight.

As for the 15K, don’t take it. It could mess your credit rating and you never know when you’re gonna need it!

Pot calling the kettle black:eek:

Ngabu, I am sincerely sorry about your predicament but cannot help myself from throwing in the jibe that “Wachinga ndio waliwao”:smiley:

Am telling you! I’ve learnt my lesson. Never ever!

[SIZE=2](Er, er, er, except for Mshwari and KCB…)[/SIZE]