When you marry a woman and she has a child. Did you expect her child’s father to vanish into thin air? If he wants to be involved in his child’s life that is Excellent for him.
Kulipa fees haikupei haki juu mtoto na babake ako hai. Even If he’s not able to provide financially does not mean he can be deleted and you can take over his child.
Men need to trend with a lot of emotional intelligence if they must date a single mother.
If this man’s weird logic were to apply, then he also has a right to life of any young sisters of the wife kama amewalipia fees. Yani pia anaeza wadinya na wakuwe wake kama yeye huwalipia fees.
Paying fees if you love a woman and her child is good. But you have to know the limits of your efforts. He’s being an idiot for even getting angry over it. You can’t be mad if a woman still keeps contact with her father’s child.
Mtoto ni wao. Bibi ni wako. That’s it and that’s how it is. There’s simply no other way to explain it.
The fundamental thing is respect. Chances are very high that a single mother will eventually disrespect you infront of the child. Ndo maana we are againts marrying single mothers, ni kuwakula tu
Even without disrespect your common sense should kick in when you marry a person with a dependent attached to them. It should tell you from your own head there are relationships within your relationship that come as part of the package . Otherwise just look for a woman without children .
Acha Kuchanganyikiwa na Reality. You can’t live in a fantasy where assuming someone doesn’t exist for 10 or more years means they stop existing
For all new kijijians the mantra is and has always been singo matha is a NO…like op has said its practically impossible to delete the sperm donor from his seeds…na apo tu ndio bado utaskia baby mama amepenea mkia in the guise of sperm donor anataka kuona mtoi
The moment you choose to settle down with a single mother jua tu kuna siku utawai ambiwa ‘achana na mtoto wangu’ ile siku uta suggest ku punish Jayden.Kabla hiop siku utapewa kila kitu unataka.Utalambwa mboro,utapewa overdose ya poosie,utachukuliwa ka loan ka bizz yenye lazima utalipa baadae,all these are to help innumbing the pain the day you will be painfully reminded that Jayden is not your son.
The only men allowed near single mothers are widowers and divorcees who also have children of their own.
Very easy. Ukisha ambiwa hivyo, you should also make it clear that you’ll also only take care of your own. Huyo mwingine ashughulikiwe na babaye. And you stand your ground.
In relationships, never take any nonsense especially of that nature.
And then that marriage will dissolve immediately . Unless the female is extremely poor and totally dependent on you, there’s no way you’ll have a marriage .
Most of the single moms will not want you in the first place if you don’t "accept " their child.
Many manchilds will confuse that with the woman literally selling their child to them as property.
The issue needs to be approached with more nuance and maturity from the word go
i believe there was a very eloquent pinned thread on the rules of engagement na hawa watu in the former site…ilienda wapi i would hate seeing a talker telling us such a hekaya 10 years from now
Those are risks even men who marry women who have no kids run. Hatuwezi kutishiwa maisha na upus kama hizo.
If I accept your kid as mine, and they live under my roof, it is my rules that they will follow.
One of the only ways the child’s father can have such control of the child is if they are actively involved in the upkeep of their own child. If they pay fees, medicals and do much of what is required when raising a child, they as well have a great say in the welfare of their child. If another man takes the child in and raises them as his in all aspects without the presence of the other, any time the other man shows up and now wants to be part of such rituals, no matter the culture and whatnot, there will be a test on the man who actually raised the child.
hakuna kitu kama hiyo, who are you to dictate what a father can or can’t do with their child? It’s not your child to make decisions about him. So your boss can decided what to do with your life becuase he pays you. Being charitable does not give you control over a child’s life. Hiyo ni upus kusema mtoto hununuliwa na school fees
Boss, hii debate umetuweka nayo hapa yenye hautaki kuona things from any other perspective than yours, achana nayo. Just go and pick up your child from that home na umpeleke whatever cultural rite unataka.
