Every other Saturday morning I have to deliver some frozen foodstuffs to an open prison in the middle of nowhere.
I’ve been doing it for years so I have built quite a good rapport with the head chef and most of the prisoners who being in an open prison double as kitchen staff, gardeners, cleaners etc… for the whole place.
Open prisons are quite popular in the UK and would probably be the equivalent of halfway houses in the States or other jurisdictions.
These places are meant to rehabilitate prisoners who’ve done long sentences before they are realesed to live among the general public.
Most would have served long terms for serious crimes like murder,rape or serious fraud.
But mostly, they would be coming to the end of a term served for Murder.
The first time I had to do a delivery there I was shitting bricks with fear.
These are hardened crooks and they can sniff the fear in you from a million miles away.
They also try to remind you that you are among dangerous human beings by the way they look at you and I guess it’s just the code of conduct in jail for the weakest to be intimidated etc…
The first time I had to go there, the management (aka prison warder) came out and introduced me to the head of the kitchen facilities.
She is a totally buch looking huge woman who takes no crap from anyone.
She is the only employed member of staff and under her are no less than 20 " lucky" prisoners working in the huge kitchen doing anything and everything that it takes to get food cooked for the rest of the prisoners.
I say lucky, and when you understand how this institution works, you’ll understand that it takes alot of good behaviour for a prisoner to be allowed to work in the kitchen!
These are the best behaved crooks in the place doing their final two or three years of their time and with a bit of luck earning some life skills to help them when they are released to live among us.
Most have been in proper prison for at least 20 years and are so desperate to get out and rejoin their families.
Some are hardened crooks and don’t want to get out for fear of revenge on them for what they did and so will do anything to get sent back to proper prison!
These are dangerous cunts that you want to stay away from!
Siku za first, I would switch the engine off, lock the doors to the truck as advised by the prison warder.
In time, I got familiar with the kitchen staff and in particular I came to be friendly with a Naija guy who was doing time for killing his wife after he came home and discovered her in bed with his best friend.!
Alichukua ukapi and slaughtered them both and got 2 life sentences for his achievements.
To look at him, you wouldn’t think that he was capable of it and more especially because he is always preaching to anyone that will listen about how good God has been to him!
And now he has just two years left.
This Naija guy always reminds me of where I am because he thinks that I am being too trusting with the other characters in there.
Kila time he sees me he goes… " Ma broda oh!.. Do you know that dis is prison?!.. Trust Nobody now!"…
And we would laugh out loud as he signed for the delivery.
He always warned me about the guys doing the gardening ati hao ndiyo wale wabaya kabisa.
Jana as I rolled down the long well manicured drive that leads to the institution, there was alot of gardeners out and about and I assumed that they must be doing a final garden tidy up before winter.
As per kawaida, you get the normal threats like a guy using the shears in a " chopping" movement as you drive past them.
Another will point the electrical hedge cutter in your direction etc…
But they are all confined to this place and it’s well isolated in the hills miles away from civilization.
Jana,I get to the kitchen delivery area and unlike the norm, the kitchen is in lockdown because a knife has gone missing!
All kitchen staff are paraded outside and all prison staff are searching them.
Kidogo, I am allowed through on condition that I deliver Everything at the kitchen door and away from where the search is taking place. (The warder knows me)…
I am in a rush and so I’m glad that I don’t have to hang around for this crap!
I am trying to get out of the place as soon as I can so I don’t get a chance to lock the doors to the front cabin.
I unload the delivery and secure the back of the truck ready to roll!
I open the driver’s side door to the cabin, up the few steps and just as I get ready to do my belt., I look to my left and on the passenger side seat is Gaz!
My Naija friend had warned me about Gaz.
Gaz or Gary, was the most feared prisoner in the place.
About twenty years ago, Gary made national news for murdering his drug dealing boss and his family!
He had received 18 years for his deed but knowing that he was a sitting duck outside prison, he would always do something to lengthen his time in prison for fear of being released.
That’s what my Naija broda told me!
And now, Gaz was sat beside me .
Before I could even breath in, Gaz grabbed me by my neck and put a knife Infront of me!
“I need a lift out of here to town! I will slip into the back of your seat and if you stop I will slit your throat!”
I was so scared I tried to scream but couldn’t!
I held on tight to the steering wheel with the palms of my hands welling up in my own sweat!..
and then the alarm on my phone went off!
It was time to go to work!..
I was so relieved.
