So am at church today in the afternoon (ya i go to church but not for the service, for business) to be precise its St.Andrews ile iko pale Nairobi Uni. I felt the urge to relieve my blander and headed to the loo.For those wamekua in that church u all kwn how they are,(ndani ndani yaani.very secluded) nikapata hakuna mtu ata mmoja ako kwa loo since all the doors were wide open.nikachagua 2nd from last,dakika kidogo nikaskia kuna mjamaa anakam.
Now this guy really fucking scared me, alipita choo zote akakuja tu kwa yangu and he knocked …i was like wht the heck dude all those other toilets are unoccupied why do u have to knock at the one which is occupied.He knocked like 3knock and i ignored, nikasema jijazie pia wewe.
The 4th knock was a loud bang and now this motherfaka is insisting on burst in, nikasimama very fast pulling up my pants, nikashout “kuna mtu” with an aggressive sound.Again he knocks the fifth time and i realized all is not well and i had to cut short my business and step out nione nani huyu mjinga hivi.Kuskia nafungua mlango akatoka mbio, nikaosha mkono nikatoka chap chap nione kaa nitampata.Kufika nnje sioni mtu and i realized i was just about to be nailed in the a$$ or worse.Yaani mpaka saai i dont understand what the guy wanted na siezi sema ati ni mapepo coz am damn sure i heard someone run away.
hehehehe, I thought so too. There is a guy in campo during school trips alikuwa anabeba rubber snake, basi ikisimama watu wanyore anakutupia. I learnt mtu akienda haja huwa very vulnerable
The best time to attack a man is during the squat. however, most mammals, including humans, have an adaptation of suspending the process, for days or hours during danger.
Mimi , nilipigiwa teke kwa hizo choo za uma hapo latema road. Nishalipa shs 10 , grabbed my small bucket of water na tissue nika join queue. Wazee wamekazwa wanashuta shuta kwa queue. My turn to enter. trouser down , squat. In less than a minute mlevi fulani ( i suspect) ameingia amekazwa vi noma. Teke kwa mlango yangu ( first door) pap. Nikaruka juu , reflex meant that the whole mission to evacuate the bowel is abandoned. Left the place pissed off and walked all the way to garden square. Bribed watchie shs 40. Did my bussiness there peacefully. Nairobi choo ni shida kabisa.