Things You Were Never Taught in School

Since this village is full of pointless arguments, let me tell you a few things that you could use to get ahead in your business or career.
Sio kila siku mambo ya kunguru, MGTOW na single mother. Ghaseeeer!

  1. You are more likely to get hired if you were referred by somebody.

If you arrange for somebody else to introduce you to a potential customer or client, you will have a higher success rate.

  1. Customers are more likely to tip if they receive a bill with a “small gift”.

That’s why most high-end restaurants usually give you a small gift after you’re done with your meal.

  1. If you’re selling a suit for 20k and you don’t want most customers to complain that price is too high, put that 20k suit next to a 80k suit.
    That 20k price for a suit will seem more reasonable.

  2. People are more likely to trust you if they see that you’re doing well.

    That’s why you will see most smart business people investing in nice cars, suits and watches.

The image you portray to potential customer or clients is very important.

If Ahmed Nassir was driving a Probox, he would have a very hard time convincing clients to pay him a few millions to handle a case.

Some people even go a step further and put images of their “happy family” in their office.
Na saa hizo nyumbani wanapigana na bibi kila usiku.

  1. If you’re negotiating a deal, talk a few things with your client or customer that is not business related.

Exchange pleasantries or genuine complements before you get down to business.It would be easier to close a deal that way than appearing like a generic robot.
However, but don’t try to force it or you will sound insincere.

  1. Always appear that you know what you’re doing or talking about.

Get those certifications or experience in your resume and most people will believe whatever you say in your field even if it doesn’t make sense.

For example, look at the CEO of Cytonn (Edwin H. Dande): most people probably said “he studied at Wharton university in the U.S, did a short stint at Bank of America before returning to Kenya in 2011 so he must be trustworthy”.

The guy even did an interview with Forbes magazine 4 years ago. I have to give this guy a round of applause. Well done!!!

Also, most scientific studies are sponsored ads if you dig deeper.

Or if you’re pitching something, back it up with scientific data; “experts say, research shows blah blah”

  1. If you’re raising money for something, create an image that a lot of people are chipping in.

For example, if you want to raise 150k, put your own money in the fund account and say 50k has been raised by well-wishers and you only need 150k more to meet your 200k target.

People tend to be persuaded by things that have been endorsed by other people.

  1. If you’re saying something is going out of stock or “get a one time deal”, most people will buy that product or service.

The same way you can outbid yourself in an auction to create an artificial high demand and most people will want whatever you’re selling.

Most apartments that are usually marketed as 70 percent sold are usually 30 percent sold.

  1. People don’t like to lose. Telling somebody that “you’re losing 50k every month” will have a more desired effect than saying “you can save 50k every month”.

Nimechoka. Tuma kitu kwa Paybill.

nice but you forgot to mention the source

  1. if you want to feel proud and happy with minimum effort, use Arimis kunyonga kanugu instead of vaseline… utamwaga chromosomes zote ata zile fermented

[ATTACH=full]376751[/ATTACH]:D:D cousin mbitika come kiasi

Wewe ni…ama acha tu

I have seen you trying to refer customers to yourself using other blue handles.

kuna watu jumia wako na store kama fifteen
kwa store 12 wanaweka bei ya juu alafu unaona zile store zimebaki zikiwa na bei nafuu

  1. Always bargain mpaka upate 20% off
  2. If you are buying something at a bargain price always appear a little bit ‘disinterested’…or quote a fake price from elsewhere like ‘Hii kitu mi hubuy Nairobi at such and such a price how come wewe uko juu hivi’ …it always guilty trips the seller
  1. Always wank before making a deal. It will clear your mind.

How you dress say alot about you. A smartly dressed man will cross a busy street and people will follow. Jamaa amevaa ovyo ovyo will not have the same effect

A nicely dressed man wont cross any street in githurai


  1. To get ahead in this cut-throat city, you need to unlearn very many things that have been drummed into your heads as “truths”. You have to be a hypocrite of sorts. Say one thing to please bonobos even when you know its garbage that wont help them. Being truthful wont get you far because people don’t like the truth if it is unpleasant. Tell the masses what they want to hear.

There is a reason Pastor Nganga, Kyunas, MPs etc are the 1% and their followers and voters are the 99%. They are not afraid to lie and tell people absolute garbage to get ahead in life.

Hakuna mtu amekuuliza.

Sio wewe naambia ki.hii

Learn/perfect a highly marketable and difficult to master skill and charge a premium for it. You can only push your luck too far in this city. Hizo ni extras tu. Not bad though.

What’s your skill? I’m curious

SCADA/PLC and industrial robotics.

That sounds complicated. Kwa hivyo in your 20s ulikuwa unaiva hizi vitu

Yeah, did a stint with Siemens in Germany and Russia too between 26-29.