Sisi as team Matasa, we only have stigma of not having children and if we wanted we can just pretend like we really tried to have children but we couldn’t to get sympathy. When the reality is that we choose to be childfree by avoiding getting pregnant when we could because not doing anything about something is choosing not to do it. It’s a choice. If you had really wanted to get pregnant, you’d have become pregnant. You didn’t because you decided consciously or unconsciously not to. So I am going to discuss how patriarchy and moreso the manosphere has weaponised motherhood.
So the manosphere has several psychological tools to make women get children. One is the population decline tactic as if the earth isn’t already overpopulated. Another is that you will die alone as if people with children don’t die alone - go to YouTube channel elder girl to see a woman in her seventy who was abandoned by her kids completely. They talk about the depressing loneliness of not having children as if there are no depressed and lonely married people with children. The stories of murder and suicide and even insanity are of women with children and or women who are married. You will never see news about a single woman, who wasn’t dating or dealing with men in any way, being killed or killing herself and her children, just show me one such case. Single, childfree women are strong, if a woman is strong enough to deal with the greatest loneliness which is that of being an abusive marriage where she’s an unpaid bang maid, a woman is strong enough to deal with loneliness. Strength is strength and it can overcome anything and find ways to cope. The manosphere make up this stories about how a woman wasn’t having kids because a man she was with told her he doesn’t want kids only for him to dump her after menopause and decide that he had changed his mind and wants children. As feminists we have or don’t have children based on personal decision and for ourselves. Not for men! Let’s be clear! Even if you are married you have kids for yourself, kids you can raise by yourself because men leave, men become abusive forcing you to leave and even the best of men can die.
This narcissists borne of the patriarchy have devised several gaslighting tricks to have women giving birth and rushing to get married before 30. Unfortunately once you fall for their tricks, be ready for abuse , you can be abandoned even while still married - figuratively or literally, you can get your kids taken away from you. The manosphere vilifies single mothers to ensure that women don’t leave toxic marriages relationshits. They still need your free domestic and sexual labour even as they abuse and abandon you. Which they lose if you leave.
There’s none of us who escaped the patriarchy demonic oppression unscathed, we might not have become domestic slaves or sexual slaves to men for decades like our predicessors or gone through the harrowing,life threatening conditions of pregnancy and childbirth or become married single mothers since raising children is a woman’s job but we are still damaged by what the patriarchy has put us through as women.Many never get to leave the patriarchy’s matrix and those who do, do so later in life, when alot of damage has already been done. I guess this is why the manosphere calls women past a certain age damaged goods. Unless you are a hermit it’s impossible not to get damaged by the Patriarchy. You will become bitter when you leave the matrix and your eyes are open to the kind of narcissistic abuse you have suffered as a woman in a patriarchal society. The manosphere will then gaslight you for being bitter for being abused, it’ll tell you that you choose wrong - victim blaming and shame you into silence so that you may not help other women get out from under their collective and individual thumb . It’s impossible not to be bitter after realising that you’ve been lied to all your life from childhood. Women are broken because of the patriarchy’s brainwashing. Women are damaged because of what men individually and collectively have done to them.
Healing from the effects of satanic ritual abuse I mean patriarchal brainwashing and men’s narcissistic abuse be it from familial or ‘romantic’ relationships is very difficult but women are strong. So here’s to deprogramming, detoxifying and healing all of the negative effects the patriarchy has had on us and it’s easier when you are single, celibate and child free because you are not in the hands of your abuser(s) or obligated to his offspring. You are a free bird inspite of the mental chains you carry. You can heal from the bitterness that comes from being a woman in a patriarchal society if you focus on yourself and your healing.