The Value of an ID card

General
1

@Freakazoid wacha niibe style yako leo kidogo tu. I’ll use my diction to set it apart.

Omusakhulu Masika
Earlier today, I was strolling pale mtaani kimandazi mandazi tu
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There’s this guy who used to be a caretaker at some place I used to live. Leo I met the Ninja hapo close to our mtaa grocer. So It’s like amechujwa works for whatever reason. Now the Ninja analia ID sana coz he claims he can’t get a job without one. Well, he is the kind of ninjas for whom an ID card + Letter of good conduct are the most important pre-qualifications for the kind of Jobs they do. More akin to a Resume + Diploma / Degree Certificates for some of you, you know, there are levels to this isht.
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Anywho, hana ID. So I ask him, how about ata Photocopy ? Waiting na Abstract…hana. Sasa nauliza hii jamaa, buda utasaidikaje bila irreducible minimums ?

He is Ugandan
Apparently this Negro is Ugandan. I never knew. Coz he always greets me in Kilunje and speaks Kilunje. I have a struggle understanding him kidogo coz it aint a dialect am properly familiar with, but basically, Inspector Kiprotich akipatana na yeye, for his Swahili accent, ataambiwa tu, Omusakhulu grease the wheels of justice uendelee na safari yako. So he is a Ugandan Lunje. But unlike Vinod pale parklands, haogopangi Police sana coz he always has an easy time with the security systems coz of his ethnic background. Ingawa ukimskiza kwa umakini, his Kiswahili sells him out kidogo, if you understand how Swahili syllables fall from Ugandan lips. You know how Ugandans say Umewona instead of Umeona ? Na mengine mengineyo. So he tells me he is Masaba. Nashuku hao ni cousins wa-akina @uwesmake.
Here is a Lumasaba Language in action

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bV8fh-xFwo

Issues ID

So, hana East African passport, hana ID, alien ID yake sijui alitupa wapi. My thought goes to how many times I have had to go Pale kwa DO westlands ku-replace ID. Voters Card mi huchukua at the same place coz I vote pale Muthiga Greens. Hadi nimekua Kastama. Coz mimi na kupoteza ID ni kama @uwesmake na momo
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Buy / Forge an ID

Ninja anadai kuna kazi amepata but ni kitambulisho tu inamkazia. Ati he has this guy who tells him anaeza mlink up apate ID ya Kenya. He is blabbering and my mind wanders off to Vinod ule wa parklands. Last time I was with Vinod, he has a Kenyan ID. Forget that he was born, raised and grew up in Tamil Nadu. He came to Kenya in his early 20s. He runs biashara hapa na pale. Ninja Masika says he is willing to bribe, lie, forge to get an ID. I dont rat, so I will just laugh this off because snitching is not what I signed up for like
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You know how it goes. Snitches get stitches.

Omusakhulu Masika is talking about how akipata a Kenyan ID, the only thing left for him in the multiverse is kuamua kama he will be buried or cremated.

And I was done for the day.
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Yaani kuna mtu mahali anaeza fanya anything, risk jail-time, go to hell and back…for a Kenyan ID card ? Well, sijui kule yangu iko acha niitafute.
Thank you and
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2

Hii walking style siku ile triple h ali imitate ilikua funny.

3

[ATTACH=full]155549[/ATTACH] I don’t know why kenyans never take their nationality seriously- i walk in store and find coffee and agricultural products advertised FROM KENYA like its a big deal …even west africans feel a different way here when they hear Kenyan blood runs through me…
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Hakuna place hatuja julikana its just we ain’t serious with doing something about it…

4

+this shit always gets though…nigga had a durag and you know he doesn’t have wavy hair!!

5

Achana na that Ugandan nigga there are Kenyan Somali citizens that struggle for years to get this crucial document. Kwanza mimi had to go through a hectic process to get it, submitted myself on a vetting committee made up of almost 14 officers including sijui D.O, Chief, C. I. D officers, National Intelligence officers. Ungedhani I was just nominated for a parliamentary seat. it was a very hectic process.

6

very true. I lived in the same hostel with a Congolese fella that had never been to Kenya. One holiday he happened to spend almost a week in Nairobi at his relative’s place. When he came back to school he was all praise and awed by Kenya. I found it strange. He even asked me why I had to leave such a nice place to go study. aah well

7

Huyo msee amtranslate that 2 hr movie into Kiluhya amejaribu:eek:

8

Yes kenyans wanajulikana sana, i remember when i studied in uganda how ugandans feared us and how we bullied thier taxi guys every time. Once they hear you speaking kiswahili they move away because mostly military, malaya na wezi speak kiswahili huko.

9

Damn explains a lot when i was UG as a teen…i thought cuz of mbesha tuko nazo…Haiya but no lie their bitches got ass
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10

Kwanza pale toppub we used to go there, wacha hapa watu wanalia sabina joy, that place was the best. I remember while waking at arua park some guy was bouncing kama wale wanati wa eastlands then i was like niaje buda, he replied fiti bro. Mkenya utamjua tu na kutembea kwake ata akuwe binguni

11

[ATTACH=full]155609[/ATTACH] fuck am old sikubuki base most just rem a club i think was called silk…and thats cuz ule mse wa bashment crew was their one night randomly and we had drinks and shit…and i was berating the bar tender for not having a cocktails(was in flossmode)

12

Yea nakumbuka silk, na capital pub kabalagala ilikuwa na wakenya wengi sana

13

tafta dem mmasaba akuonyeshe kachabali uone utam

14

But you understand. Right?

15

Hao madem sijui kwa nini wanapenda mabwana za watu sana.

16

huyo ni mgisu wetu banaa first kaziiin

:D:D:D:D:D waaaaaaaah bwana yesu anongea kibukusu live , kumbe Yesu ni mbukusu , hapo sawa wacha ni chore hio movie kwa dvd nikienda ocha watajua mimi ni nani .:D:D:D:D

17

:D:D:D pata like SV.

18

Kulikuwaga pia na sax pub hapo karibu Tourist Hotel na Nakasero Market. But it is now a shopping arcade. Ile vita Wakenya wamepigana hio pub, ni legendary.

19

Watu wa form 5&6 na KIU tunawaona

20

I don’t deny it. But sikuwa KIU though I had many friends hayo maeneo.