No, Anko @uwesmake, I am not dead.
But I nearly died.
On Saturday morning, a mad thought entered my mind.
I got into an old car, a Caldina, and pointed its nose towards Thika.
Along Thika Road, I fueled 3k and drove for about 3 hours at 80km/hr steady.
Accidents galore along the road, from two damsels who had kissed each other’s butts at Roysambu, to bodaboda shenanigans at Thika.
Soon, I was at the first road block on the Garissa-Mwingi Road.
And then the second one at Yatta, near the NYS land grabbed by Kamelon.
The APs waved to stop so that the vehicles from the opposite direction could pass.
And that’s when I nearly died.
On my back mirror, I saw this blue bus coming at me like a bat from hell, headlights blazing.
He flashed the lights several times.
I could do nothing - just in front of me were the spikes, and the cars from the opposite side were blocking the way.
I knew there was going to be a crash.
A second (or 10, I don’t know) is a long time.
I remembered I had not told anybody where I was going. I was like 1oo kms from home.
I remembered that accident that occured in Nakuru where a couple parked on the shoulder was crushed to death by a speeding bus.
The bus was upon me.
Then in a moment of grace, the driver swerved off the road and onto the shoulder, missing me by inches.
He run over the barrier which covers the shoulder and the bus went into the grassy ditch by the road, about six feet down, and continued moving!
Thankfully it didn’t overturn!
After about 50 metres, the bus stopped.
I noticed that the all the APs had run-off to the far side, and most were holding their mouths.
I was alive, but very shaken.
I got out of the car, and the APs run to where I was and told me God was with me. Typical Kenyan BS.
They did not go after the bus, which had now retaken to the tarmac.
A few kms down the road, near a place I think is called Kithimani, I caught up with the bus that nearly killed.
To his credit the driver stopped.
What he said next astounded me.
(TO BE CONTINUED)
Next: What I learnt from doing the Kithimani-Kabaa-Mumbuni-Kivandini-Mwala-Makutano-Mayakos circuit, and how I draefraed a half-Bukusu from Majengo at Kafeco thinking she was a genuine Kabondian