The Life And Times of @FieldMarshal CouchP

Let’s analyze the life of a confused octogenarian known as @FieldMarshal CouchP .

Born in 1935, he was christened Gĩchohi.

In Kikuyu dialect, the name Gĩchohi means ‘The big beer’. It was typically given to drunkards, which explains @FieldMarshal CouchP’s insatiable appetite for MURATINA.

Gĩchohi had two weaknesses, MURATINA and women.

As brave youth were plotting to liberate Kenya from the colonialists, @FieldMarshal CouchP was busy imbibing MURATINA and fornicating under the sycamore trees in Ndeiya.

When Kenya got her independence, @FieldMarshal CouchP watched like a fool as his peers formed the government. The confused muratina addict watched from the sidelines as his age-mates acquired billions and grabbed vast amounts of land.

Fast forward to today, his age-mates comprise of former presidents and billionaire tycoons, who now reside in leafy suburbs such as Muthaiga and Runda, who spend time enjoying their stolen billions with their grandchildren.

Meanwhile, the muratina addict finds comfort in insulting Luos from his Manyatta in Ndeiya.


It’s gonna be a long day.
Rewind hapo kwa FF and add more juicy details of when he was top honcho KNA ((Kenya News Agency)

We have an early kickoff on this holiest day of the week.

Me thinks at one time the old idiot worked at nation media group and was fired for sexually harassing an intern and replaced with a luo.

Sad, really sad.

Or maybe because he was passed on the Mboya airlifts and his place went to a Jaruo that he probably in his demented mind thinks was deservedly his.

malisa hio Malaya tribalistic cheith and don’t forget his sidekick @ChifuMbitika
I hear nowadays they chase young girls similar in age to their granddaughters which is a fools errand really, as it’s akin to playing pool with a rope

Ile pacemaker yake ndio mtume maraya mrembo kidogo kushinda wale amezoea azime battery mzee ireset akili ya hio ng’ombe. Ashasumbua watu sana.

Ha ha ha ha!

Mmeanka na Mimi, eeeh?

Hata nyinyi mtazeeka nugu Ici!

Unaona. Are you still drunk Mungich?

Njaruo, stop wanking your big ‘mahdick’ because of a simple typo on a phone keyboard…

You probably were posting under the influence (P.U.I).

Wacha ad hominem attacks and kindly respond to the subject matter at hand raised by the OP.

Bure kabisa!

Fellow ndeiyan ,niko nyuma yako

@ChifuMbitika is a true gikuyu who fights for our rights

I have often viewed the idiot as a bitter tribal anti-Luo failure while wondering what caused his mental instability.

This now fully explains my curiosity. Thanks for the exposure. :D:D:D

TBT. Nugu ici…

Guka hawezi kuwa mzee kushinda Baba. Meffi wewe

camping here for the vayolence :green_emoji:malisa guka… i remain neutral