The kept man. Why woman keep men

The ninjas I respect the most are the guys kept by women.

I remember in the 2000s Oyunga Pala writing a piece about the “The Era of Kept Men” in his Saturday Man Talk column. It made me curious. Just how does a man decide to be kept by a woman?

Now, my respect to these men is not in an offensive, or disrespectful or sarcastic way. I mean it.

Yaani, to decide to sacrifice your masculine frame, to supplicate to a woman takes either one being totally brainless or deciding that all this masculinity hype is nonsense and living one’s way like Sinatra. I like the latter philosophical approach where one adapts to the pleasure principle and decides to do the least for maximum returns.

Let us face it, there are women out here with lots of chumes, but lonely and yearning to love.

But these women are a bit disadvantaged by so many factors. Due to their work schedule or attitude, they are never able to attract a man their type or class.

It is an ironic thing in life that the more powerful and richer a woman is, the more her choices of men become slim. Men their level steer clear of them for reasons I am too tired to enlist.

So, some of these women out of loneliness, low self-esteem, or genuine need for some loving and wood, opt to do the opposite of what society expects of them: keep a man.
To some, it is a philosophical choice too. Some go to Ben10s whose number is on the rise and others keep men their age or older, but men they can pet.

In one of the flats I lived once in South B, there used to be this well-to-do lady in her early 40s who kept a man in his late 30s. The man was the averagely tall, mild-afro, jeans-wearing, Manchester United fan. All he did was spin the Mama’s Bima, fetch groceries, run the errands for mama, and presumably lay that golden pipe. Until one day he messed with the woman’s teenage daughter and all hell broke loose.

In a capitalist society, love can be commoditised. Love is actually a currency. Some get it through marriage. Some married people outsource it to their clandes. And lonelier, older women who are open minded can buy love. They can keep the man. And they don’t mind bringing home the bacon, if the man can provide the masculine security the woman needs.

The kept men are like the many young women who have decided they will sell their bodies to the highest bidder to pay their bills and have fun.

So, these men spend their time in the gym, because they need those biceps to fit into those annoyingly white fitting T-shirts. In their free time, they read about which type of ground nuts can guarantee the best but and generally improving their aphrodisiac knowledge and other kinky sex moves to unlock every sensuality in the woman. Go around these middle-class estates you will see the ninjas shopping for pumpkin seeds and broccoli. The free internet in the house gives them access to the best porn sites.

So mama puts in the shift at work, brings the damn bacon home and papa ensures that she massages her good, uses his tongue to deliver something unique week in, week out.

One day, maybe we need to talk about Sex &the City and give it a Nairobian context.

Now, kept men come in two or three versions:
The totally useless, ambitionless type whose only mission is to sleep around and once they outlive their usefulness, they are kicked out like an African stray dog. These category doesn’t care. They can live in Lavington for two months and still go back to Landi Mawe Slums and they are cool.

The second category are the good conmen they service older women, but keep younger women as their girlfriend’s. These are men whose confidence in everything they do is at :100: %. Their game from talking to laying is tops. For these men, their women don’t mind sharing as long as they maintain their performance. At best they are super liars and the women have no choice but believe them. They know how to make women pay for their escapades and they are quite shameless. Like these men have guts. They eat guts for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

The third category are those men with ambition who swindle these women. I know a dozen men who became rich, or did so much for themselves either by swindling women or by the women appreciating their work ethic.

These men approach their sexual services work as business. And they have a rate card. The women beg them for love, sex and affection
The men know how to mess with the self- esteem of these women, can be unavailable to increase their demand, and know how to balance these women like a balance sheet.

They know once a woman with low-esteem is dickmatized, they can control her and her resources. When the woman finally comes to her senses, when she can’t keep up with the competition, is when they run to the camera to say that they have been swindled.

What they never say is that they also benefitted from the man’s superb cable laying services. What they never say is how these men sold them stupid dreams that with a little scrutiny they would have smelled a rat. What they never say is that they have had good men who never did any of these bad stuff to them, but even in ten lifetimes, they will still choose a man who disrespects them, who treats them like trush, over the decent, respectful but boring man.

As capitalism takes roots in Africa and women misuse their hypergamistic instinct, kept men will be on the rise. Family, honour, provision and everything that was the hallmark of male pride is derided nowadays. That is why some men have no qualms opting for a suboptimal arrangement as long as they can be fed, clothed, sheltered, while they sell bodily pleasure.

It is what it is.

My request for women, if you have been played a good one, take it as a man, and eat the embarrassment alone. Once you outsource love to market forces, your security to the state, and your responsibility only to thyself, pay the price Pamela.

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Insightful article

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@Willywonka naona umeanza kuingia territory ya @TrumanCapote

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Can you summarize in points form sasa ni ushuru tutalipa Zakayo ama ni hii gazeti yako tutasoma? No man worth a bag of beans can be kept by a woman it is a curse and it’s only chimpanzees who reason like this bcz they are effeminate. End of discussion. Nilifikiria wewe ni mkristo kumbe you want to be another man’s bottom. Oyuga Pala Sasa ni mtu wa ku emulate. Get better role models and become gey and you can be kept by several different men.

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Yo…nice one. But sisi fans wa Manchester United hatufanyagi hivo

@Willywonka =malaya sugu msee @TrumanCapote

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@Willywonka hizi story zinakusumbuanga sana banae.

The male version of the witch :rofl:

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