The Hekaya That Malaysiad: ..Victim of a Single Mother

The following takes place in a span of around a decade.

I was working for the government. I had a nice income, hit the gym regularly so I had a nice body as well - kachest na ka6pack. Dry spell for me was something I heard from people but never experienced alot of - like second hand smoke ukipita pale smoking zone ya Bus Station.

I had a side hustle that did so well that I decided to leave the government to concentrate on business - first mistake.
I had a regular slice giver, a young Luo girl with a devilish vigor that often left bruises on my d*ck. But she was stupid and full of drama. Within a month she had told everyone who card to listen that she was my fiancé.

On the side, I was eyeing another chik who worked for my supplier. I started developing strange infatuations every time I saw her. I asked her out once and did not ask for slices that time - second mistake.

I continued seeing her and one Sunday afternoon I went to visit her and “accidentally” met her family. On the next time we went out, she told me she had a kid who was staying with her family. I should have known because she had a very suspicious potty. But she was so fucking good at pushing all my right buttons that I overlooked it and with time I asked her to move in with me, ie ûhiki wa mafefe-inî.

Mwaka moja ikaisha nikamuuliza niaje si tupate mtoto? Oh, wacha nimalize course nimebakisha 2 years. Miaka tatu ikaisha akapata ka promotion na akawa busy kuruka. Yule mtoi wake sasa alishaletwa sasa ananiita Baba. Kabiashara kangu nako kanaelekea kunywa maji. Mwaka wa nne I turned the pressure a notch higher, saa hio hata wazazi, ndugu na marafiki wanauliza vipi bana? Pia mimi nilikua nimeanza kushangaa kwani zangu ni ma blank?

Mwaka ya tano nikagundua mjinga amekuwa akimeza matembe. I confronted her, and gave her an ultimatum. Saa hio kabiashara kangu kako ICU na yeye na promotion zake anaingiza 6-figure. Hata saa zingine namkopa ninunulie biashara “dawa” na kumuuliza alipe rent ya kejani. Akanishow hataki kupata mtoto “mpaka tupate shamba na tujenge na tuhame na nikuwe financially stable”. Shiet!

Nikatafuta kamrembo huko ocha haraka upesi na machungu, na lo and behold nikakadunga mimba! You won’t believe how happy I was. I continued living with the witch with virtually no sexual contact until she bought a house on mortgage. I wasn’t even consulted when she was taking the mortgage.

Long story short, we are not together anymore and I have had three kids with two different women since. One of them was another conniving single mother who can’t believe I missed her bullet, ie ékotite! And my sculptured body is back. And business is now alive and well.

Hapan tambua dead beat dads, hawa watoto illegal watakumalizia mali yako

What is your real handle bruh?

@Penguin

niaje bingwa

???

BINGWA!!!

So bingwa is back…Your life must be really boring…tafuta bibi utulie

I dont understand all this

Usijali.

Welcome to the village. Nice hekaya, btw.

So you are a dad…take care of those babies!!! Be a real man tafadhali to them

Ten years ago? Mblo kumbe wewe ndiye unatumalizia bundles na uzee wako hapa

Yes, i saw this hekaya, but i can’t recall who posted it. Weh, NV, who had posted this?

hakunanga watoto illegal. people are people. maybe you are talking about legitimacy. In fact, all children are legitimate unless you invoke religion or some other similar piece of shit.

Kuna penguin ilikamua @jerrydubiz … Ni wewe?

Nv haiwezi tupatia story kama hii nimekataa.
Haidhuru,uko na shida hapa kama pombe ya unga.

Hii hekaya ni ya @Pseudonyms

I am taking care of them. And I take as much time as I can to spend time with them. The most fulfilling feeling. And to think the selfish witch had denied me this joy…

Amejishtaki, dude, you didn’t need a new handle for this, kwani anonymity ya the first handle haitoshi?

:D:D