Years ago in my early 20s I got a 3 month contact for some job, and because the boss was a mlevi who gave zero fucks, the guy spent his life in the bar 24 7 literally, aliniacha hapo kama supervisor. I could handle the distribution of the daily allowances and to reward myself for dealing with all these knuckle heads all day everyday…I found my clever ways za wizi. Fast forward 3 months later, I have stolen enough to pay three months rent, then the boss calls me on this Wednesday to this dingy bar, buys me beer, gino mbili tatu ine, he’s in good mood, he knows he didn’t do shit, he couldn’t have done shit without me so he writes me fuckin a cheque, mimi huyo straight hadi co-op bank. Lets just say the next three days where the longest days ever.
Friday, the big pay day is here! 7 a.m I got into co-op bank like I own the demn place, like I am Chris Kirubi, I want my money! and I don’t give a fuck about the liquidity crisis you will be thrown into after I am done with you hehe. 8 p.m got me in some funky bar, I am wearing all this snazzy clothes that I had just bought on the same day hehe and next to me is this fly! light skin with huuuge booobs that are now all over my face, my head is filled with all this fantasies how I’ll be hungrily ravaging them in the a few. Then bitch drops a bombshell! Aki beb I have to go home my siz has just called me… blah blah. Yaani choma, chips kuku half and 25 black ices later you’re just going to leave me just like that!!! I think I snapped, called her a few unprintables, I was like go, I didn’t even look at her leave.
My friend runs a keg bar with rooms that go for like 350 per night, this is where all the whores hangout before the go out to sell their wares or when they’re taking a break, and there are the ratchets who are not necessarily whores, the kind of chicks who would appreciate a few jugs of keg or makali. I thought if was drinking at that place I would have to drink for a whole week and a few more days before I spend what I have just spent on this unappreciative bitch!! Fuck it, I am going there!
I get to the place, the place is full, some bendover kind of music is playing, asses are gyrating, ratchets everywhere, everywhere, the place is reeking the ‘smell of sex’, it’s happening! I get my self a seat in the corner with the best view. The ratchets know how to spot a guy with some extra change so they come next to you and gyrate their asses and do all kinds of nasty shit for you to notice them, I spot this petite, under 16 year old looking chick with an ass of a grown woman, she’s sitting in a corner alone lost in thought, I gesture her to come over and then nikaitisha soe makali, in this places don’t be the rich guy who’s buying expensive drinks . A few drinks in mtoto amechangamuka she’s wiggling her ass dangerously close to my crotch, that can only happen for so long before a youngin gets a raging boner, I hold her hand like you would hold a kid you’re helping to cross a road, straight had first floor, pay for the room then I hit that thing na hasira yote while thinking about the ungrateful bitch who just bailed out on me, then we went back. Then I notice another fat chick, I call her, then another one and one more… rinse repeat , rinse repeat , rinse repeat, by 8 a.m when I was seen on a nduthi with some pretty little thing in toe, I had raruad like 6,7 of them! Good times…