The day my smelly shoes cost me a good pussy!....

Mwende was her name and she was the mboch from next door that I had been eyeing all of December since I had cleared fourth form back in the 90s!

Hizi siku kama haujavaa Sahara na suspender you were out of fashion.

So, after many an afternoon spent outside our gate waiting for Mwende to appear on her daily trip to the market , I had managed to gain her trust just enough for her to let me walk her to the soko and back again back to her house.
Some may say I was stalking her but it’s not like I had much else to do and those were the days when KCSE results weren’t “Matiangid” … You had to wait till early February before you knew your fate!

So, Mwende ashaingia box and she accepts a “date” with me but it has to be in her Employer’s house and on a Monday afternoon which is when mwenyewe nyumba and her doctor husband are guaranteed to be away at work!

So Mimi, hiyo Monday nikang’ara Sahara za mine and freshened up and waited at the fence for Mwende to alert me as soon as the coast was clear.

Unbeknown to me: kumbe there is a strict rule of no shoes allowed in the house Kwa hiyo nyumba!
Kwetu ilikuwa optional!..

I knew my “Sahara’s” like Most Saharas had a pungent smell but I had hoped that I would get away with it!

Lakini wapi!?..

From the moment I entered that immaculately fresh smelling sitting room, I could almost smell my own feet and I had to keep my toes locked up together as Mwende struggled to find the source of smell !..

And all the while anashinda akisema ati… " Huyu paka amekunyia wapi?"…

She was so distressed that in the end,I left without shagging her juu ya wasiwasi na the bad smell!..

Kutoka hiyo siku, I got rid of the Saharas .

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mboss ndio nakula supper banaaaa

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Yuck.

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Did you know that what you are talking about is limited by your false sense of reality? Maybe if you studied just a little bit harder while in school you wouldn’t be blinded by these fallacies that have cast a cloud over your judgment. I’m not trying to tell you how to live your life but, honestly buddy I think its time you got a decent education.

And I thought women like a “Real man” ?! …

Me and you could never be because mpaka wa Leo I spend most of my life in “nguo za mechanic” and I only own one suit !
And I bought it in 2014!..

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I don’t know you personally but I will have you know that I can confidently tell you that I am Not just more Educated than you; But I am also More Learned than you ever will be.

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Miguu kunuka ndio kuwa a real man? M-m.

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I wouldn’t say my viatu stinks but I wouldn’t pass for a clean cut clean shaven guy on an average day and that’s just me!

I have to say I brush up well for the occasion if I have to and I tend to attract women who are obsessively OCD !.. Kikikikkkk…

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I don’t know you but I think you are meffi.
Or maybe I do not see how you failed to hit it because of your shoes
I just have to say that was a big fat L

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I remember I could put on the same socks for 2 weeks or so. Ukiitoa kwa mguu, it can stand on its own kama kuni,uvundo was something else yet to be discovered on periodic table…so @Ka-Buda I feel you been there once

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For a guy who has been whining about the ravages of poverty, one might begin to think that you may be more educated and learned, but totally lack the intelligence to make sense of life. Hata kuma ya mboch ulishindwa?

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Hizi vitu hufanyika wacheni kujifanya ni kama hamjawai hata kabuda waambie

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Tells you that’s a single man right there . He has no one to take care of him. Good opposhunity to make a real man out of him.

Ni shida ama uchaf? 2 weeks hata watoto wa high school hawezi fikisha.

I hope you’re not trying to low key justify being dirty.

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Ulikuwa unapanga kula huyu mboch viatu zikiwa miguu ama mbona haukujipanga?

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Kind of job I was doing

Opportunity for?

:smiley: Sasa jergen what happened to your masculine avatar

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@Jergen ana vako za Rapunzel labda yutafta Mchawi cc @jumabekevu
@kabuda hizo hu happen, though you should have taken sometime to brush for the occasion, in seco when we had innings we went to the extent of basically borrowing ne uniforms from Monos just so we looked cool, so hapa kaka ulitupa Mbaula mbaya

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Fiti. The current avatar was more befitting

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