I met the first Jane ( let’s call her Jane 1) in 2013 when we were retained by their sponsoring International NGO to help her CBO solve penetration problems where they were starting a project in Laikipia. She is about 35, fine body with a superb brain- witty and knowledgeable…the kind of woman i like. But she had one flow though; she is a chatterbox and in the race to exhaust her daily ration of 120,000 words, she reveals too much of her history…
We worked closely during the implementation of the strategy we advised. we mostly met in Nyeri hotels in the evenings because, somehow, she would always develop these “crises” late in the afternoon when coming from the field in Eastern Laikipia and me being in Nyeri. I didn’t mind, seeing as we were billing them for “work hours” I would otherwise have spent drinking with friends or alone in the house.
During these consultations, i would have the intern we had assigned their account, a young lady and the graduate of a private university come along. I would drop the intern on my way home as we lived in the same direction while Jane 1 took a taxi home…
Somewhere along the way she said something nasty about the intern and at around the same time was sending hints that she wanted more than a professional relationship…i refused to bite, though, because in the process of her chattering she had revealed a little too much of her history that i did not like…(sorry members of Mafisidom I let you down:)). I slowly weaned myself from their account …
I met Jane 2 in class in 2014 when i went back to school. She is an executive with one of the major Insurance Companies. Jane 2 is very yellow yellow, not more than four feet tall, and round (Sorry @Guru and other plus-sized girls this is not meant to denigrate big-boned girls). She is just fat from all the eating she does. She walks into the 9.00 am lecture munching on a meatpie. When I excuse myself to go to the supermarket for a drink at break time she’s like “Gashwin nikujie na pancake (they have some nice vanilla ones in the supermarket near our school”…Lunch time she is always the first to ask, “Leo tunakula nyama?” and so on.
She has been on my case since we knew each other…early morning calls, late night texts, invites to tea and coffee…she will come and start small talk when pretending to read my papers when pressing her thighs on me or generous bust on my shoulder…heck she even learnt how to follow Chelsea so she can ask to join me while watching football, or she just shows up at my favorite club.
We normally sip some red wine when watching ball. In the course of the wining i have learnt she is separated. Though she claimed to be unengaged, one drunken night i learnt that she is seeing a banker. She has many problems ranging from the unresolved divorce case, unfinished house project, raising fees for her two girls and son in boarding school to loneliness. In short, she is too needy and i simply do not have the resources to take up her problems. So I have avoided hitting.
So on Tuesday, my deputy after briefing me on what went on during my short leave in December invited me for lunch. It was in the course of the lunch that she told me how during the end of year function in Jane 1’s project they ended up in a hotel in Nanyuki where Jane 1 poured out stories. She claimed that i used to hit her but she dropped me because she discovered i was hitting the intern at the same…that she discovered i was a terrible womanizer etc etc (false stories!)
Coincidentally, my deputy met Jane 2 by pure chance. The had taken their kids for interviews at a popular academy. while the kids were in interview they got to know one another. When Jane 2 learnt where my deputy works she opened up about me (women have this funny way of opening up to total strangers as soon as they establish some common ground!) …I was described as a terrible womanizer who has borrowed all the seven female classmates and who have all turned me down…a man who does not let a skirt pass…
Why do women turn nasty when they can’t get what they desire? Is it that their self esteem takes a hit when they are “ignored/avoided” and the nastiness is their only way of validating themselves?
DISCLAIMER: I had my womanizing days and they are firmly in the past. I am satisfied with my one secret female companion who has been with me for more than three years now.
Heheee, wrath of a rejected woman can be lethal. Sometimes it is right to tell a woman on the face it’s not gonna work as soon as you realise her intentions. It will save you lots of drama. Your being too nice costed you these dramas.
I fail to understand, we also have this 40+ years old receptionist at our company, she is widowed and has a big daughter in high school. She has been on my case for four months now and when I decided not to show any interest and quit joking with her or going to her desk in the morning just to chat up before official work hours, she became nasty! There was a time she invited me to her place in Kikuyu over the weekends I declined. She calls me on the internal line asking stupid questions. Right now she refuses to dispatch documents to my cubicle in the morning, she declines to take any documents that I want delivered to the CEO or senior management since there is a protocl to be followed and she is smack in the middle of it. I hope it will all die down since I do not want to escalate it to the HR. Thankfully I never made the foolish decision of hitting it. I could have been in a cesspool of catpiss
A woman in that age shouldn’t behave as such. Why is she hitting on you anyway? Aren’t u her son’s age? Those are the women who give women folks a bad name. Be professional.
she is a very difficult employee to deal with but she is a long serving employee almost 20years at the company will weigh my options and take the one that won’t backfire. At times she would take food from the ladies bringing them to the office and tell them “bwana yangu mdogo atalipa” in reference to me. I had to tell them kama sijawaambia expressly they will shoulder the cost themselves if they decide to give her food
not really at times you perform a SWOT analysis and arrive at a decision to just let it run its course, personally nimepita stage ya screwing anything that I come across. I look at all the likely scenarios and evaluate the consequences. Especially work mates its a no no, too many loose ends for my liking.
if they talk about you, they wanted you. The case of jane 1: if someone tells you about others, he/she tells others about you. Remember this always when you meet chatterboxes.